Fred 56

Issue 56

Magazine

CA                  (A VERY EARLY) EDITORIAL

Blimey, huh?  I bet you weren't expecting FRED to drop through
your letter box this early, were you?  Well, that's what you get
when you have an efficient editor.  Oh, and a boss who has a
birthday on April 15th and would like people to have a last
reminder, just in case they want to send him a card.

Well, me being a gullible (someone told me they've removed the
word 'gullible' from the dictionary - amazing, huh?) young
editor, I've worked non-stop, paid doctors thousands of pounds
to have new wrists after developing RSI and told a hundred and
twenty seven lies.

Still, this means I can have a couple of weeks off before I have
to start issue 57.  I wonder if I could talk Colin into giving
me some holiday pay...

By the way, don't expect me to continue this surge of eagerness.
FRED will go back to being delivered around the 16th of the
month (until next April).
CA                     HELLO SHOW GO-ERS!

A big welcome to those of you who have bought this issue of FRED
at the SAM and Speccy show.  The release date won't seem as
spectacular for you, but I hope you're enjoying the issue.

If you have enjoyed this issue, please get a subscription.  FRED
is always filled to the brim with goodies - sometimes people
write in saying some items should be published commercially.
FRED really is good value for money (9 out of 10 cats recommend
it) and the more readers, the better FRED is.  Also, don't
forget that subbers not only get 12 months of solid enjoyment,
but are also given discounts on software on the price list.

I don't want to bore the regulars, but I'll give any new readers
a quick run-down.  I'm Colin Anderton the (very hard working)
editor.  'Editor' is a strange title, because I actually do
everything except send the discs out to people.  Colin Macdonald
is the proud owner of FRED Publishing and is my boss.  As the
boss, Colin M does nothing.  Sorry, I tell a lie, he has to
post a couple of discs.
CA                     HARDWARE TROUBLES

I don't know if people have noticed, but I have trouble with
electrical things.  I'm a bit like Frank Spencer in that
respect.  If you read my section about me in issue 51, you'll
know that I had to send my SAM back to be repaired the same day
I bought it because it was in black and white.  If you read the
letters section a few months back, you may remember that my
power supply packed up on me and it took Colin 3 attempts before
he got a working one to me.

Well, inbetween these dates, my TV packed up, my printer froze
up my SAM (which was fixed by dropping my SAM on the desk a few
times - don't try this at home, kids), the bit that turns the
ink on my printer is bust, my printer now only prints half of
the page out and my toaster electrocuted me just before it
decided it would only toast one side of the bread.

Well, after at least 6 weeks of no problems, my mouse packed up
the other day.  Despite stamping on it, it won't work.  Typical,
isn't it?  Actually, I might try fixing it.  That'd be fun.
CA                  COLIN'S ACADEMIC CAREER

Quite a lot has happened in a few days regarding the incredibly
boring subject of my career.

I've now decided that I'd like to go to Nottingham University to
do Maths & Economics (boring, huh?).  Sorry to those people who
invited me to go to their universities so I could subsidise
their beer drinking.  Warwick is my 'insurance' offer, so the
guy at Warwick can hope that I bodge my economics and statistics
A-levels up.  Dave Handley can just hope I completely mess
everything up because I'll go for Lancaster if I end up in
clearing.

I've also got the dates for my A-levels.  You'll be pleased to
know that it shouldn't affect FRED too much.  I had expected
them to go from 25th May - 7th July.  Luckily my first exam
isn't until 6th June.  This means that I'll have two weeks to
'study' (meaning I'll either watch daytime TV or do FRED).  My
exams end on 26th June, which leaves me about a week to do the
next issue.  Easy.
CA                   IT'S TIME TO SPEAK...

Now that I've settled into my FRED job, and can compile an issue
in about two seconds, I'm ready to begin improving FRED to suit
the readers more.  This month should see a slightly more
professional SCREEN$ section.  Instead of just printing the
names of the screens before they load, there should be a nice
looking screen giving you the contents.  That's only a small
improvement, but it's the sort of thing that can make a disc
magazine seem that little bit more polished.

Each reader of the magazine must have some idea of how FRED
could be improved.  Okay, you may say that it's something you'd
like to see but don't think other people would like it.  Put the
idea forward anyway - people's reactions are quite surprising.
Even if you hate my editorials, tell me what I'm doing wrong - I
don't mind negative comments, as long as you say what I should
do to improve.  I've been told that I moan too much about having
nothing to say, which is true, so I'll try and keep my moaning
to myself.  Don't worry about criticising me - I'm not going to
send a bomb with your next issue (I can't afford it).


See?  Me not putting a title is pretty irritating, isn't it?  If
you didn't notice, then believe me, it was irritating.  It's the
same for us when people don't tell us what they think.

The main reason I'm saying this now is that a lot of you will be
reading this before you go to the Gloucester show.  I'll write a
list of things we would like to know and PLEASE could you write
your ideas on paper and either bring them with you for us to
have a look at or post them to Colin Macdonald.  Many thanks.

                  THINGS TO HAVE A THINK ABOUT

1 : The Editorial - I know many people would like to see a new
                    text reader; that's being worked on.  But
                    what about the content of the editorial?  Is
                    my sense of humour remotely funny?  Do I
                    actually HAVE a sense of humour???  Are
                    there any articles you would like to see?
                    Are the disc contents too detailed or not
CA                   FRED IMPROVEMENTS...?

                    detailed enough?  Any ideas for me to write
                    about in my editorials that would interest
                    people are gratefully received.

2 : Main contents - Are the contents to your satisfaction?
                    Although I don't have a lot of choice of
                    what sort of stuff to put on, am I putting
                    too many games on?  Are there too many or
                    not enough text articles?  Which ones do you
                    like/dislike?

3 : New bits      - Are there any things you would like to see
                    introduced to FRED?  Can you think of ways
                    of improving the current sections?  I have
                    already told you about the SCREEN$
                    improvement.  The other thing I would like
                    to see are more reviews of FRED, Revelation,
                    Phoenix, SAM PD, etc... software & hardware.

CA                   FRED IMPROVEMENTS...?

4 : General       - What do you think of the structure of FRED -
                    Eg.  A-Editorial, B-Letters, C-Screens$, D
                    to L contributions, M-Adverts and N-Bits and
                    Bobs.  Should that be changed?  Do people
                    actually like the on-body printing?  Is the
                    mix of humour and seriousness OK?  What do
                    you think of the price of FRED?

All of these are points that currently Colin Macdonald and I
have to decide almost completely on our own.  Even if you think
that nothing should be changed, please tell us that.  If the
only people who write in tell us they want things changing, they
will be changed.  Tell us what to keep and what to lose.

If you subscribe, you've got two weeks to think of answers in
time for the Gloucester show.  Even if you're reading this for
the first time and it's months after the show, still send us
your comments.  I know that FRED can improve, but not without
the input from you.
CA         OH NO! NOT MORE LEMMINGS CODES... (ho ho)

Fed up with that damn impossible level which you can't quite
complete on 'Oh No! More Lemmings'?  Well, here are some of the
codes, painfully typed up by Colin 'VERY Gullible' Anderton.

                              TAME
                              ----

Level -  01 : Down And Out Lemmings              : PAMIJLLE
         02 : Rent-a-Lemming                     : OANIJLJG
         03 : Undercover Lemming                 : RAOIJLLE
         04 : Downwardly Mobile Lemmings         : QAPIJLJC
         05 : Snuggle up to a Lemming            : LAQXJLTE
         06 : Intsy-Wintsy...Lemming?            : KARXJLRG
         07 : Who's That Lemming                 : NASXJLTE
         08 : Dangerzone                         : MATXJLRK
         09 : And now this...                    : XAUIJLLE
         10 : New Lemmings On The Block          : WAVIJLJG
         11 : With Compliments                   : ZAWIJLLE
         12 : Citizen Lemming                    : YAXIJLJC
CA                      LEMMINGS CODES

Level -  13 : Thunder-Lemmings are go!           : TAYXJLTE
         14 : Get a little extra help            : SAZXJLRG
         15 : Not just a pretty Lemming          : VAAXJLTE
         16 : Gone With The Lemming              : UDLXKLRK
         17 : Honey, I Saved The Lemmings        : PCMWKKLE
         18 : Lemmings For Presidents!           : OCNWKKLE
         19 : Lemming Productions Present...     : RCOWKKLE
         20 : Custom built for Lemmings          : QCPWKKJC

                             CRAZY
                             -----

Level -  01 : Quote: "That's a good level"       : LENLEKWD
         02 : Dolly Dimple                       : KEULEKOJ
         03 : Many Lemmings make level work      : NEYLEKNO
         04 : Lemming Express                    : MFMLFKID
         05 : 24 hour Lemathon                   : XFNLFKSP
         06 : The Stack                          : WFULFKKF
         07 : And now, the end is near...        : ZFVLFKMF
CA                         "Ogfwah?"

Level -  08 : KEEP ON TRUCKING                   : YFZLFKHA
         09 : On the Antarctic Coast             : TGVJGKWD
         10 : ROCKY VI                           : SGYJGKSF
         11 : No Problemming!                    : VHLJHKSL
         12 : Lemming Friendly                   : UHTJHKJC
         13 : It's a trade off                   : PHQPENHA
         14 : Time waits for no Lemming          : OHZOENNK
         15 : Worra load of old blocks!          : RHAOENPI
         16 : Across The Gap                     : QGSNFNWB
         17 : DIGGING FOR VICTORY                : LGYNFNLM
         18 : NO PROBLEM                         : KFLNGNHA
         19 : DON'T PANIC                        : NFPMGNWH
         20 : Ice Ice Lemming                    : MEQLHNUH

That's the lot for this month.  Now you can cheat your way
through the game (like I have to).  The next couple of sets will
follow next month.


CA                            NEWS

At last, the contribution payments argument has been decided.
After far too many months of Colin and I saying, "Erm, ahh,
well, err... (etc)" we've come to a compromise.

As you should know, FRED can't afford to pay each main menu
article £10.  However, the cuts already made have at last put
the monthly account into the black, and we have decided to pass
all this profit onto the readers.  The new pay structure will be
as follows (I feel like the Chancellor!).

FRED will not increase in price.  Although an increase was
popular with many people, we feel subscription rates would fall
too low.

The programmer of the item in slot 'D' will receive a voucher
giving £10 off anything on the FRED price list.

The programmers of items in slots E,F,G and K (Eg all non-text,
screens or music contributions) will receive a voucher giving £5
CA                            NEWS

off anything on the FRED price list.

People who send us screens, music and text will, as always, be
given the thanks and appreciation that they deserve.

I hope that the idea of vouchers seems fair to all contributors.
By introducing vouchers, we were able to pay all 5 sections,
because the loss won't seem so big.  Also, giving a £10 voucher
for slot D will add that little incentive for programmers to
make the program look that little bit better, while they still
know they will get something for their work.

Our apologies go to anyone who may feel they have lost out
between FRED 53 and now, but try to understand that these cuts
were necessary.

Now that the payment has been decided on, can I make a massive
plea to everyone to start programming.  We really do need your
programs, and, now there's a larger chance of a reward...
CA                            NEWS

Some news that will come as a shock to everyone (including me)
is the possible release of Retros for the Gloucester show.
After completing TnT, Matt has started beavering away on his new
(sort of) game and hopes to have it ready for the end of April.

Those slightly longer-serving FRED readers should remember a
demo of Matt's game way back on FRED 45.  It was a sort of
Thrust game, but you didn't rotate.  Instead you thrusted from
side to side and up.  The idea was to collect a box and escape.
Easy?  No.  Thin passages and magnets which pulled you into the
wall prevented your completion of the missions, and it turned
out to be a very enjoyable and well-written game.

It had been put aside for a while due to Matt's extreme busy
life but now it's coming to your SAM with lots more levels and
even more obstacles to stop you.  It is probably going to cost
£10, so look out for it at the Gloucester show.

Now, as usual, Colin Macdonald announces all the best bits...
CM                             C

At last! SAM's very own version of the ubiquitous programming
language 'C' is set for release. Not that you'd believe me - I
mean, loads of stuff gets delayed and people get disappointed. I
could promise that it's release is imminent, but short of seeing
the final thing, you may still have your doubts.

Ideally, I'd put the entire program on an issue of FRED to prove
it to you - however, that would kind of leave me with a large
debt! No, the only way to convince you would be to include fully
compiled, completely independantly working C programs.

So I have.

What I've done is no masterpiece. You know when you first
received your SAM and you wrote dozens of program-ettes that got
relegated to a disc at the back of your disc box and you bring
out to have a look how abysmal your early efforts were? These
are those programs! However, they should show you the power of
C, as well as the fact that it does actually work!
                               C

The first program I wrote in C was a version of X and O's. I'd
originally programmed it in BASIC, but then simply re-wrote it
in C. Once I'd got it working on SAM, I ported the code across
to a PC disc and compiled EXACTLY the same program under a PC C
Compiler - worked perfectly. Port across to the Amiga, compile,
worked first time. Took a disc into University, ported the code
across to the notoriously wierd UNIX system, and only had to
change one line before it compiled and ran perfectly!

Anyway, I've included both the BASIC and compiled C versions of
my little game - although you'll only be able to study the Basic
listing ( the C code has been compiled into machine code ... ),
you'll be able to see the game is the same - except for the fact
that the version compiled under C runs over THIRTY FIVE times as
fast. 3500% , 35 x the speed. Yes, that's right.


Don't believe me?        Have a look for yourself!

                               C

I wanted to be able to show you some C source code, and as the X
and O's listing is a bit daunting (in both languages), I came up
with a simpler program - a listing of the prime numbers upto
200.

For those who have been lucky enough to forget about prime
numbers : - A prime number is a number that cannot be divided
exactly by any other number, other than 1 and itself. So to find
whether 19 is prime, try dividing 19 by 2,3,4,5 .. 17 and 18. If
any of them produced a whole number as a result of the division,
then the number is not prime. 19 is prime.

I wanted to simply include the C source file and let you see how
simple it is to program in.

Obviously, without knowing the ins and outs of C, that may not
make a lot of sense. Which is why I've included a straight
comparison between the BASIC and C code of 'prime numbers', you
should be able to see a direct resemblance between the two.
                               C

Despite the instantly dismissive "Oh my God - I can't learn
another programming language", I know you'll say. I can honestly
say that C is not a difficult language. I mean, if I can do it -
anyone can!  [True - CA]  Please take the time to have a look at
the C source code - It's well worth it!

The examples of C on the disc are slightly extreme - the
equivalent BASIC programs run at 7 and 35 times slower. This is
because C is so much faster at performing calculations, standard
input and output is not as significantly faster - just printing
a list of numbers would maybe only run twice as fast in C, but
as we all know, the bulk of a program is calculations. Hey - I
could live with my programs at double speed anyway!

I'm sorry to have to try and drill the boons of C into you, but
this language really is going to change SAM, FRED and your
programming as you know it!


                               C

There are no catches - it's easy to write, it compiles into
Machine Code so it runs ultra-fast,  the code it produces is
independant and executable (the two C files are on the disc as
XO.O and PRIME.O - load them in and CALL 32768), it's dead easy
to get PC C programs to run on SAM, there are no nasty
restrictions on the code SAM C produces, and there will
constantly be new libraries appearing to boost the power of C.

The official launch date is the 29th April (yes, the Gloucester
Show) for £19.99, although I am hoping to be able to ship the
first copies before that. I apologise for not being able to keep
the price down to £15 as I'd hoped, but £15 isn't a lot these
days and it simply wouldn't have covered the costs.

Even at £19.99 FRED is losing a bit of money on each copy - BUT
DO NOT FEAR, what FRED will lose on producing SAM C will be made
up by the huge improvement to the number of contributions to
FRED magazine, making commercial games and utilities will be so
much simpler and quicker that it'll save a fortune in
                               C

development costs, and as I said, we will also be selling
specialist libraries for those of you that need specific
mathematical formulae or whatever.

The aim of keeping the price so low in comparison to C compilers
on other computers is to get as many people programming in C as
possible - and that can only be a good thing for you, me and the
SAM in general.

So, orders are now being taken. I'm sorry but I can't afford to
give a subscriber's discount, so the cost to everyone is £19.99
There will be some kind of demonstrations at the forthcoming
Gloucester Show - although, to realise the power of C, you
really have to experiment yourself.

For those of you needing a few more specific details on SAM C, I
can tell you that it has an all-in-one linker, compiler and
assembler - with the option of saving out the assembly code for
hand optimizing. Built in debugger, calculator and browser. It
                               C

helps slightly if you have MasterDOS, the 1 Meg or a Mouse - but
none of them are required.

SAM C is like a combination of SMALL C and ANSI C. You'll find
it has all the most common C capabilites so you should have no
problem with the bulk of C code written on a PC or Amiga. It
comes with all the standard libraries (STDIO, CONIO, CONTYPE,
GRAPHICS, STDLIB, STRING, STRING2 and SYSTEM).

The manual not only covers the technical features of C, but has
a beginner's guide to C which will be supplemented by a
recommended book list and example programs for you to rip apart!

As I mentioned, the C code is stand-alone so you could have it
running alongside a GamesMaster game as well as some BASIC - and
you can pass values to and from C programs!

That's me - if I haven't convinced you it's worth getting by now
then you're probably a lost cause!
CM                  New Hardware Just In!!

I've been able to get LIMITED stocks of some brand new SAM
hardware. I'd recommend phoning to reserve an item, but I should
have enough to satisfy demand :-

Slot-in slim line disc drive : £85
256K Memory Upgrade          : £29.99
SAMBus                       : £49.99
Printer Interface            : £19.99
Replacement keyboards        : £19.99
Replacement Power Supplies   : £24.99
Version 3 ROMs               : £13

SAM 512K 1 Drive             : £199.99

All items are currently in stock, and prices include postage and
packaging. Some of this hardware will be taken to the Gloucester
Show - but I would advise phoning me first as I can't guarantee
when I'll get more in.

CA                       DISC CONTENTS

This month, things have come from everywhere at the last minute,
but I'm sure you'll agree, it's worth it.  And for a change,
there's a pleasant mix of programs.

However, how can we not start off with a brilliant Gamesmaster
game?  In slot 'D' is a game called 'Blast!' from James Curry,
and James is beginning to look like a contender for the 'Far Too
Much Gamesmaster Programming Talent' award - watch out Matt
Round!

Blast! is a bubble bobble type game, except you don't burp
bubbles and you're not a dinosaur.  It's a one screen platform
game and the trick is to drop mines in order to blow up the
enemies on screen before progressing to the next level.

You can drop three mines at once.  Both you and enemies can set
them off.  Any enemies caught in the blast will turn into a
ball, shoot around a bit, and turn into a bonus for points or
extra mines.
CA                       DISC CONTENTS

It is slightly harder because you can't turn when you jump, but
this probably makes the game better because you won't complete
it first go.

The best way to get the hang of it is to play it.  If you run
out of mines, press R to abort one life.  Oh, and a tip.  If you
complete a level with no mines, you get 5 at the start of the
next one.  So, if you kill all the enemies and you've only got 4
mines left...

Slot G is the program by Colin 'Presentation isn't my strong
point (but I can sell a program pretty well)' Macdonald.  You'll
already know about this, so all I'll say is that I HATE
COMPUTERS WHO ALWAYS WIN.

This months MOD is from me!  I've ripped it from an Archimedes
game, and it really is quite catchy.  Let it get going and
you'll love it as much as I do.  I may have room for another
MOD, so have a look in slot J.
CA                       DISC CONTENTS

Next, in slot 'E' we have probably the best code compressor that
the SAM has.  Finally, the author of the program has sent us a
copy to include on FRED, and as other programmers have decided
that it can't be beaten, here it is.  It's a relatively simple
compressor compared to others I've used.  The only complicated
bit is deciding which compression method to use.  As expected,
these range from good compression to pretty amazing compression,
and the better you want, the more time it takes.  There is no
typing in numbers, and poking memory because as soon as you load
the compressed file, it uncompresses itself!  Simple.

When you're ready to compile, press F1 to compile a file on
disc and F2 to compile a file already in memory.  Pressing F2
will ask you for the start and length of the file.  Pressing F1
will ask you for the filename.

There are then three options - MODE, SPEED and SKIP.

When you are asked for MODE, there are three choices.  Press 1
CA                       DISC CONTENTS

if you require normal compression.  This is a good compression,
but may crash for files that are already really compact (ROMs,
E-tunes, etc...).  Pressing 2 gives you Implosion.  This is a
very good compression but takes a long time to compress.  For
example, a 30K file of mine took 4 and a half minutes.  However,
decompression occurs in a few seconds.  Pressing 3 is the best
compression.  It shrinks, then implodes (basically does option 1
then option 2).  It takes roughly the same time as slot 2, but
is VERY effective.

SPEED (0 to 7).  This only affects the implosion speed.  If 0 is
selected, implosion takes longer but is more effective, and 7 is
the slowest speed, but takes less time.  The speed you choose
will probably depend on how much disc space there is left.

Unfortunately, no-one I know seems to know what SKIP does.  What
is best is if you just press RETURN to get the default value.
If anyone can shed any light, it would be welcome.  And
remember, no extra files or pokes are needed!
CA               DISC-CONTENTED?  I DOUBT IT!

By the way, if you don't want code to autodecompress, merge it
in and call the address when you're ready.  Make sure it's
loaded to the correct address though.

In slot 'F', we have something that I don't think FRED has ever
had before (hundreds of letters slam through my letterbox with
people saying, "actually on FRED xx...").   It's an artificial
intelligence program, and you have to teach it to respond
correctly.  It's incredibly enjoyable, and I had a pleasing
relationship going with it for a while, until it insisted that
my disc drive was snowing.  Typing #HELP will give you a list of
commands for LOADing and SAVEing and things, but apart from
that, you've got to teach it right from the word go.  Good luck.

By the way, don't swear at it, because it'll constantly swear
back, believe me.  Oh yes, this wonderful program was written by
Andrew Chandler.  Completely useless, but hours of fun (the
program, not Andrew)...

CA            Hello.  I am a 'Disc Contents' page.

Adrian Francis has been beavering away and has come up with
'Debut'.  As you can guess, it's his first demo.  It's written
in BASIC, but don't dismiss it because of that.  It looks really
nice, has some good pieces of music in and a couple of smooth
scrollies.  And an autostereogram, but I've got a lazy eye so I
don't know what it looks like.  Thanks Adrian.

Installments 7 & 8 of Rachel hit your screens in slot 'L'.

Take a look at the adverts section because (once again) it's
different.  This month's addition is a 3 screen TnT advert (and
it's humorous too).

In slot 'H' is a QUASAR article by Colin Piggot - the brains
behind it.  Instead of making a fool of myself, I'll let you see
what Colin P has to say.  (There are too many Colin's about).

Colin Piggot has ALSO (he was up until 4:30 in the morning
programming to make sure he made the deadline) written the
CA                DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISC CONTENTS

lovely machine code menu which you've no doubt already seen.
Cheers Colin, I owe you one.

Bits and bobs.  Well, firstly is a pretty (and quite clever)
line drawer thingumy.  Good description, eh?  It draws lines in
that way that everyone found really clever the first time they
bought their SAM, and makes a lovely pattern.  Thanks go to
Andrew Chandler for this.

Luke Falla has once again been thinking of little useful ideas
and has provided us with a new set of Driver icons.  I really
must buy Driver one of these days.  If I was paid a respectable
wage, I'd get it.  If only Colin didn't have those career
threatening photographs, I'd demand a pay rise.

Er, returning back to FRED, the other bits and bobs item is by
Andrew Hodgkison and is a useful utility that copies the
contents of drive 2 to drive 1, and sorts them into alphabetical
order.  Very clever.
CA                 'Tis the end, my friends

There you are.  I've finished.  Did you notice the lack of
moaning and complete nonsense?  I'm getting good at this now.

Next issue, I can safely say that there will be a Sound Machine
to E-tracker converter, a couple of games, some music, some
screens, and, most importantly, me.

And remember, the SAM Coupe and Spectrum computer show is on
April 29th at Quedgley village hall (next to Tescos).  It starts
at 10:00 and goes on until everyone goes home in the afternoon.
It's a great day out, there will be plenty of bargains and new
releases (not forgetting the C compiler!), along with some sneak
previews of things that are only in early production.

Come along, make a day of it, and come and say hello to Colin
Macdonald and I.  Please forgive me if I don't remember your
name, but hopefully I will.  See you there!


CA                         THANKYOU

Editor: Colin 'Half a year' Anderton

                With the greatest of thanks to:
****************************************************************
*                                                              *
* COLIN MACDONALD         ANDREW CHANDLER       PEDER LAUSTSEN *
* COLIN PIGGOT              PETER MOORE         MALCOLM DOPSON *
* JAMES CURRY            ANDREW HODGKINSON          MATT ROUND *
* MARIAN KRIVOS           MATTHEW FRANCIS        DARREN MARTIN *
* ADRIAN FRANCIS            LUKE FALLA           TONY WINDMILL *
* GAVIN SMITH           MARTIN FITZPATRICK       DAFFY THE DOG *
*                                                              *
****************************************************************

Issue 57 - May 17th from:   [redacted]                    >>>>>

DM              FILM REVIEWS FROM DARREN MARTIN

---Star Trek Generations (PG)-----------------------------------

Starring: William Shatner            James Doohan
          Walter Koenig          Malcolm McDowell
          Whoopi Goldberg         Patrick Stewart
          Jonathan Frakes            Brent Spiner
          Michael Dorn               LeVar Burton
          Marina Sirtis            Gates McFadden
          Barbara March             Gwynyth Walsh

It's  here  at  last,the seventh feature film installment of the
Star  Trek  saga,which  sees  the crews of both the original and
Next Generation series together for the first time,although only
briefly.Unless  you've  been living on a secluded island for the
past  six  months  then you'll know all about the excitement and
story.But just in case you have been living in the lap of luxury
on your own island off the Horn of Africa for half a year,here's
the plot...


It starts in the 23rd Centuary with the maiden voyage of the new
USS  Enterprise  NCC  1701-D with Capt.Kirk,Scotty and Chekov as
special  guests  for  this  big media event.But what begins as a
gentle  trip  around  Pluto  soon  turns  to  emergency  as  the
Enterprise,with only a skeleton crew and basic equipment aboard,
has  to  answer the distress call of two ships.The two transport
ships are carrying El Aurian refugees,including Guinan(Goldberg)
and  Dr.Tolian  Soren(McDowell).They are trapped in a mysterious
ribbon  of  energy  called  The Nexus and although a handful are
rescued Kirk is apparently killed when the hull is smashed open.

Cut to the 24th Centuary,78 years later,aboard the Enterprise-D.
We  see   he senior staff involved in fun and games on a galleon
in  the  holodeck.It is Worf's promotion ceremony in which he is
made  to  walk  the  plank.But  the frolics are interuppted by a
distress  signal from an observatory under attack.The Enterprise
arrives too late but few survivors are found,but one is Dr.Soren

What  unravels  is  a story of an obsessive man who wants to get
back  to the Nexus,a place "like being inside joy" that you have

no cares and time is irrelevant.Dr.Soren is so bent on achieving
his goal that he will destroy stars without thought to alter the
course  of  the  Nexus.To  destroy  the  stars  he  uses the new
Trilithium,a  powerful  agent  that  the Klingon renegades Lursa
(March)  and  B'Etor(Walsh)  become intrested in,but Soren being
the  mad  and  intelligent(a rather nasty combination if you ask
me)  person  that  he  is,uses  their lust for power to keep the
Federation off his back.

The  Enterprise  has  to  separate  the saucer after engineering
recieves  heavy  damage  due  to  the  Klingons finding a way to
penetrate   their  shields.What  follows,though,is  a  piece  of
stunning  special  effects  as the saucer section plunges onto a
planets surface.
Meanwhile  Picards attempts to stop Soren from destroying a star
fail  and  Soren  manages  to  get the Nexus to come to him,also
sweeping the captain in as well.

In  the  Nexus,after  a  momentary confusion,Picard comes across
Captain  Kirk,he didnt die in the Enterprise-B but was enveloped

by   the   Nexus.After  plenty  of  horse  riding  in  beautiful
landscapes  Picard  persuades  Kirk to come back to reality with
him to stop Soren.

A  sub-plot  that runs along is Data and the installation of his
emotion  chip(if you dont know how he got this,because it doesnt
explain  it  in  the film,then I'm not about to tell you,because
its  rather  complicated  and  would  take up a lot of space).At
first he is a little confused,we are treated to a scene where he
is filled with glee because he is experiencing hate at the taste
of a drink!And he gets the punchline of a joke told 7 years ago.
But  with  these nice emotions there are fear and guilt which he
finds difficult to cope with.

                              --+--

Thats enough of me spoiling the film for you,is it any good?
Well,as  a  devoted Trekker I thoroughly enjoyed the film.It has
everything  that  makes Star Trek so universally popular:humour,
moral and personal conflicts,social messages,battles,explosions,

dazzling  special  effects and Klingon cleavage.Many reviews are
slating  it  as  an  empty film,but I suspect that many of these
writers  arent Trek fans and I know that many of you,even if you
dont admit it openly,dont dislike the series.
That  said  there are a few things that didnt work,mainly having
Scotty and Chekov star at the beginning.There really was no need
to  have  them in,although we do get to hear Scotty say "I canny
hold it together much longer,captain" for one last time.
This is a transistional film and you cant really expect it to be
perfect;its a shedding of the old and the Next Gen finding their
feet on the silver screen.

For me the new film worked well and many other people must agree
as  a huge box office turn over has shown.No doubt there will be
more films to follow that boldly push back the final frontier as
Gene Roddenberry first envisiged nearly 30 years ago.

                           ---++*++---

Here are some other films currently showing...

Leon (18)
  The  way  of a hitmans simple lifestyle is turned upside down
  when he takes in an orphaned girl.Leon is a simple fellow but
  a  brilliant  hitman,who finds himself teaching a 14 year old
  girl,who  acts  far  too mature for her age,the tricks of his
  "trade"  so  she  can  avenge  the cold-blooded murder of her
  family  by  the Drug Enforcement Agency,brilliantly headed by
  the  pill-popping  Gary  Oldman,who virtually declares war on
  Leon in the films finale.

 A touching and funny movie set against the paradox of drugs and
 hired assassins.

Shallow Grave (18)
  The  happy,care-free  life  of  three  Scottish  flatmates is
  shattered  when a new tennant dies leaving a suitcase full of
  money.Deceiding to keep the money they have to render the body
  unindentifiable  and  bury  it.But  the  tensions between the
  friends  increases and one becomes paranoid,never leaving the
  attic  and the double-crossing of three close friends reaches

  breaking  point  for the end.Plus the police and the rightful
  proprietors  of the money are seeking them leaving a trail of
  murder in their wake.

 A disturbing movie of trust,greed and paranoia that can destroy
 a harmonious relationship of three normal people.

Natural Born Killers (18)
  After  all  the  hype and months of censorship it was finally
  released and what do we find,that the director Oliver Stone is
  probably  on hallucigenic drugs(or has been listening to some
  of Brians music).This is an odd movie in which I came out with
  a headache.Based on a true story,it is about Mickey and Malory
  who go on a killing spree across America while the media pumps
  so much adrenaline into the story that they become anti-heroes
  Their love for each other is strong enough to cast a veil over
  their violent barbarianism.Once finally caught public intrest
  is  so  intense  that tensions within the prison break into a
  riot on live TV.


 The film succeeds at forcing its message across although wierd
 special effects,strange angle shots and violence content so
 fast and furious that you dont give a damn who gets killed.

                       ----===++*++===----

And  thats it,thank god.Do you realise that going to watch those
four  movies probably cost me nearly £30 thats including petrol,
ticket,drink and food!! It's scandalous.

While  I'm  still  here  I'd like to ask for a bit of advice.I'm
writing a little database program,nothing special you understand
and  I'm  using POKE,PEEK and MEM$ to manipulate the data,BUT as
the  program gets larger it keeps interferring with the data and
causing crashes.I know nothing of Basic stacks,memory pages,etc.
so  I  was  wondering  if  anybody  knew of a failsafe method of
placing  the  data  into  memory without the program beating the
crap out of it.
                                            Darren Martin 2-3-95

Letters & Reviews

                 Letter From Martin Fitzpatrick

Dear Fred
         For once I have something worth saying.  It's about
this thing with price rises and paying for contributions and
everything.

I personally don't think there is anything wrong with the 'Pick
Of The Week' idea but I would say that I won it.  In FRED 54 it
was said that this would make people write software too slowly
trying to make it the best they could. To be honest it doesn't
take all that long to create a good game. My UFO thing only took
a weekend to complete, but I suppose it's up to you to decide if
it was any good.

I also agree that you shouldn't award the prize to the same
people continuously as this could make people who don't think
their software is up to it give up making software which
eventually will lead to less things for FRED.

The lottery idea is good and bad.  It could make some people
                 Letter From Martin Fitzpatrick

give up because of the chance of them winning is low.  This
could also frustrate some programmers who slave away to make
something the best possible and then lose out to the lottery
system and get nothing for it.
However it does allow a varied bunch of people to win the prize,
which is what we want.

Well onto merrier news....

As for the SamBus thing, I would definitely be interested.  I've
wanted one for a while but haven't had the money, but now I have
the money they're not on sale anymore. Sods law.
Unfortunately I can't help with anything on the production side,
Electronics was one of my hobbies a while back and I made a few
simple circuits.  I can cope with designing PCB's for small
things like that but I think this would be a bit over my head to
make a SamBus, sorry.

The 'C' compiler, well this sounds like a good idea.  Can't wait
                 Letter From Martin Fitzpatrick

for some more news on that.

And lastly, this 16bit SoundCard, a bit of alright that.  Just a
couple of questions on that....

1. Will it be able to play E-Tunes and MOD's aswell as samples?
2. Where exactly does it plug into? - Just so I know how much I
need the SamBus.

Well that's my bit done for this month, back soon.









CA                Reply to Martin Fitzpatrick

Blimey, Martin.  That letter was completely serious, wasn't it?
Are you OK?

Thanks for your views on the contribution payments, and also
thanks to everyone else who gave us their opinions.  If you've
read the editorial, you'll know that it has now been decided,
and I hope the decision is satisfactory for everyone.

Excited about the C-compiler eh?  So is every FRED reader, it
seems.  You should know more about it if you read Colin Mac's
article this month.  The release date is the show, so get
saving.

Colin Piggot has written an article for this month (you could
have waited a while and everything would have been answered!),
so hopefully you'll find out all you need to know.  It is
unlikely to play E-tunes, because they can't be improved on, but
MODs can be played.  After all, a MOD is simply music made from
a load of samples!
                   Letter From Tony Windmill

Dear Colin,
         I don't know why but the Post Office seem to have a
grudge against your discs.  FRED 53 appeared to have been either
hit with a centre punch, or stood on by someone wearing
stilletoes, on the back of the disc, which I failed to notice
until I tried to eject the disc.  It is possible to take a SAM
disc drive apart and put back together and it still works; but
not recommended, the worst part was the very short leads from
the keyboard.  Anyway I've some non working discs that I
cannobilised for a new metal shutter and spring and that disc is
now ok.  Then disc FRED 54 arrived no stilletoes this time but
some scratch marks next to the shutter and the shutter doesn't
close and when booted disc reading error.  Not to be totally
beaten I have been able to copy most of the files.  Of course
the most important file the Editorial was corrupt, I've returned
the disc in a jiffy bag and some stamps so could you please send
another copy, to save postage if its not too difficult to
organise I'm quite happy for you to send the replacement with
FRED 55.
                   Letter From Tony Windmill

To talk of other things, I have a PC sitting next to SAM but the
SAM has its advantages.  Its much faster booting.  An editorial
in one of the PC mags thought that PCs would not become
household items until they were useable straight away on switch
on, I don't think its that simple - I can remember televisions
that took a minute to warm up.  As we enjoy role playing games I
bought Dungeon Master for the PC in a sale now I'm using the SAM
most of the time.

Waterworks II Please!!!  Help with level three.  I don't want a
password just a clue on how to start.

Thanks for all the entertainment FRED brings and I may see you
in Gloucester again sometime this Spring.

                        Yours sincerely,

                         Tony Windmill

CA                  Reply to Tony Windmill

I'll just repeat what I said last month.  If your disc does look
like it could damage your disc drive, then send it back.  Also,
if there's a loading/sector error, send it back.  If it's the
current issue, don't bother sending an SAE.  If it's old, then
include a stamp, or something.

PC's eh?  I love PC's (honest).  Just because they're expensive,
with tacky software and processors that can't do maths doesn't
mean we should hate them.  Only joking, course we should.

Sorry.  Don't hate me, all you PC owners.  I'm sure you get some
benefit out of them.  Somehow.

Funnily enough, Tony, I'm stuck on level 3 of Waterworks II.  I
ripped the passwords, and can complete almost every other level,
but I think level 3 is the hardest.  Anyone want to show off and
prove they can do it?

Come and say hello if you make it to the show.  Ta-ra.
                    Letter From Gavin Smith

Dear Colin,
         There was a plea from McColin for some feedback on
Fred, so I thought I'd give you my honest opinion on Fred 55...

Editorial - now there's a contents page it is much easier to
find the news, disk contents etc.  I can't really think of any
way of improving this apart from including more news from other
companies such as Phoenix, Jupiter Software, etc.

Letters - try and include all the letters you get every month -
you may as well.

Screens - the screens in Fred 55 were the best yet.  A good
variety from different people instead of ten screens on the same
subject from the same person.

Rain - I'm sorry, but I am absolutely sick to death of damn
space invader games, I never play them more than once.  I
appreciate that a lot of hard work goes into these games, but
                    Letter From Gavin Smith

please - no more.  More strategy games or manager games like:
manage your own software or record company, or even a Sim City
type game.  Surely this type of game would be just as easy to
write as a space invaders game.

Gravitoid 2350 - nice little game (though deadly hard).  By the
way, whatever happened to 'Retros'? [MIND READER! - CA]

Lottery - both lottery programs were absolutely excellent.  Very
well presented.

Duck Hunt - unfortunately my mouse is broken at the moment, so I
can't play it.  What I saw of the backdrop looked very nice
though.

The net - I was very pleased when I saw 'The net' on the disk
because I don't enjoy the Anonimity stuff (even though we've
seen that one before) [Er, I know, but I liked it.  Oops - CA]

                    Letter From Gavin Smith

E-tunes and MODs - I'm a bit bored of E-tunes and MODs now
(unless the songs are well known)

Space Junk - Damn space ship game.  [Calm down! - CA]

Rachel 5+6 - What?

Adverts - This is the section I always look at first.  I don't
know why, I just do.

Bits n Bobs - An excellent section.  Some very useful programs.

Despite what you may think, I did enjoy Fred 55.  I just think
it could be a little bit better.

Final suggestions - How about some features to read - tutorials
for example.  I hope we are going to get a C tutorial.  At least
one demo of a commercial game (or utility) every issue from any
company.  NO MORE SPACE INVADERS.  We don't live in 1980 now.
                    Letter From Gavin Smith

Please, please, please print the following advert.  Y'see I'd
love to go to the Gloucester show and buy a SAM elite, and this
is the only way I can afford it.  Please.

FOR SALE : SAM COUPE 512K, 3.5 ROM, SINGLE DRIVE, COMPLETE WITH
MANUALS, POWERPACK, PRINTER INTERFACE, BOXED - £100 inc P+P

SPECTRUM +, MANUALS, LEADS, POWERPACK, SOFTWARE, BOXED - £20 inc

ALSO SAM AND SPECCY SOFTWARE - PHONE OR WRITE FOR A LIST.
PHONE [redacted] OR WRITE TO: GAVIN SMITH, [redacted].

CA            Justification for including this...

I know I said last month that I was unlikely to include any more
adverts to sell SAMs, but Colin Macdonald says that Gavin's a
reliable & truthful SAM owner, so I'll believe he's buying an
elite.  See you at the show, hopefully.
CA                   Reply to Gavin Smith

Many thanks for your views, Gavin.

Do I detect a couple of subtle hints regarding the fact that
you're not too keen on space invader type games?  Do they INVADE
too much SPACE on the disc?  (Ho ho)

It's a fact that Space Invaders games tend to be the easiest and
quickest to write, so we tend to get a few of these.  I admit, I
get a bit sick of them, but for some reason, I really enjoyed
'Rain'.  The problem is that my choice is very limited as it is.
If I had more contributions, the types of game would vary more.
Still, I'll take your view into account if it's a 50/50
decision.

It's also hard to get demos of games, although Colin tries his
best.  Any companies who have written demos of games are welcome
to send them in.

Also, if people can get hold of NET stories, send them in.
                   Letter From Peder Laustsen

Greetings from Denmark to you all in FRED Publishing,

As I've just had FRED for about 12 months (Iss. 42) and after
about 3 I had to have all of 1993 (Iss. 30-41).  I can tell you
I'm VERY pleased with things and I'm not yet finished looking
through the issues.

All the news, letters, a different menuscreen with music and of
course the programs, the music, utilities (for Driver &
SAMPaint) and the pictures especially the interlaced picture on
FRED45 (more please).

Comment on Driver, Lemmings and SAMPaint:
 What can I say : WOW - Yiipppee - Fantastic.  If the software
on SAM Coupe is going to be as fantastic looking and good to
work with as Lemmings and SAMPaint in the future then I'm not
going to leave the SAM Coupe behind for many years ahead.  And
when programmers have begun to make full use of Driver then I'm
sure a lot of other SAM owners are going to agree with me: The
                   Letter From Peder Laustsen

Coupe is here to stay!

By the way I'm afraid my Lemmings disk will be worn out before I
finish all the levels in the game. (The disk is read a lot of
times during a game!!!)

SAMPaint is a very advanced program and I haven't used the time
to really get all the features tried out.  By the way, I'm
getting tired of having to open up the user manual every time I
want to change a bit of a picture I'm working on.  There must be
a better copy protection.

Driver has been a great help for me and I really think it was a
good idea to make a tool like Driver to give the Coupe a more
attractive look.  There is one thing which is a little annoying
about Notepad.  IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO SET RIGHT AND LEFT
MARGINS!!!

Latest! Latest!!
                   Letter From Peder Laustsen

 I recieved Driver Extras Disk and Legend of Eshan in November
and I'm already playing with Artgrabber and Paintbrush, and
using the CardFile.  So what can I say!!!  More applications
please!!!

By the way, is there any chance that anyone (West Coast) will
take SAMBus into production again and make an updated version,
maybe the same way as the Hardware Kit.  The clock does funny
things when you try to load it, and the calendar is not much fun
when you have to set it every time you enter Driver.  I got the
following answer when I asked Format for a SAMBus/Clock
interface for Driver: West Coast is working on a clock circuit
and maybe it will be placed inside SAM... someone is also
working on A HARDDISK DOS AND INTERFACE... Yiiipee.. WOW..
Fantastic. Now all we can do is wait and hope the price won't be
too much of a fortune...



                   Letter From Peder Laustsen

Questions:

I was wondering if members of Fred Publishing does the actual
programming of the programs you publish, such as SAMPaint,
Lemmings?  And how do you decide what titles to release next?  I
know a software project is a long and hard process, but what
happened to F16 Combat Pilot?  Is a good FlySim impossible?

I would also like to know if you have any special office hours
during the day you would like people to call you?

How is your cooperation with other publishers of SAM software?
Is it a hard competition/business or is it a relaxed atmosphere?

By the way, can I order any of the software on the price list
from you (I do think so)?

AND WHEN WILL YOU ACCEPT VISA AS PAYMENT!!!  Is Fred Publishing
not big enough to accept VISA as payment?  Please NO MORE
                   Letter From Peder Laustsen

CHEQUES!! Cost me 60Dkr(GBP6).

Have you any ideas about how many SAM computers have been sold
and how many are still in active duty?  There must be enough to
keep Fred Publishing, FORMAT, Revelation, Noesis, Betasoft all
going, right!  But how many is that??

Best Wishes,

Peder Laustsen









CA                  Reply to Peder Laustsen

Thanks Peder.  Quite a detailed letter, that!  Most people think
of one or two things and make a letter out of it.  Peder, on the
other hand, seems to have a million things to ask.  I'm going to
have to ring Colin Macdonald up and find out the answers to most
of these.

Anyway, I'm pleased you're enjoying FRED magazine and software.
The protection system on SAMPaint is probably the best we can
use because with a utility, people like to make back-ups and
alter things for their requirements.  This is why SAMPaint must
have a system where something other than corrupted disc sectors
is used to prevent piracy.  By the way, a message to all SAM
software pirates - drop dead.

I'm afraid you know as much as we do about the SAMBus.  If you
look in the editorial, Colin Macdonald seems to have a limited
supply of them, so if you want one, order it quickly.  Apart
from that, we'll have to wait and see.

CA                  Reply to Peder Laustsen

Chris White (programmer of Lemmings) and Graham Burtenshaw
(SAMPaint) are or were subbers to FRED.  They're not part of a
FRED programming team, but are regular Fredders (if that's a
word).

F16 Combat Pilot was shelved just after a demo of it was given
away on YS.  Apparently, it ran a bit too slow for solid 3D
graphics, and there were far too many bugs.  It is very unlikely
that F16 will ever be re-started, but this doesn't rule out the
possibility of a similar game.  Actually, I've lost my copy of
the demo, so if anyone could send me a copy when they send their
next letter (hint, hint), I'd like another look at it.

You can try and ring Colin at any time during the day.  On
weekdays, you're unlikely to catch him mid-day.  The easiest
time to ring is Saturday or Sunday afternoon.  If he isn't in or
is too busy, you'll get his answer-phone message, so you can try
him later.

CA                  Reply to Peder Laustsen

Almost everyone in the SAM world is friends with everyone else,
and so most of the time, things run smoothly.  When there is a
major license or utility up for grabs, there is a bit of
competition, but basically, we're all mates.

Unfortunately, FRED is not big enough to make using VISA
worthwhile.  It costs a few hundred pounds to begin with and
then you have to pay about 7% on the sales.  For the number of
people who would use it, it wouldn't be profitable.

We're not absolutely sure about this, but we think that about
10,000 SAMs were sold, and about 5,000 are in use at the moment.







                  Letter From Malcolm Dopson

Dear editor, [Never been called that before! - CA]
     Can anyone at FRED, OR IN THE WORLD OF SAM, help me with a
problem I have with SAMPRINT.

The problem is that everything I print to my EPSON or STAR
printers over runs to a second sheet of A4 paper.  I have
checked the printers settings to be O.K., have I got a faulty
copy of SAMPRINT, or is there anything I can do to correct this
problem?  The review in FORMAT Vol.5 No.11 page 13 states that
printing is done to A4 paper.

I have only just purchased this programme and find it very
useful and easy to use, but find the above problem very
annoying.

Also can you or anyone help with the printing of the pound sign
using PCG's DTP and an EPSON printer.

                             Malcolm Dopson
CA                  Reply to Malcolm Dopson

Errrrr... Blimey.  What can I say?  I don't have SAMPRINT, or
come to think of it, a brain.  So, I haven't a clue what to say.
Apparently, Colin Macdonald has the same problem, and doesn't
know what, why or how.

If anyone out there knows if it can be fixed, if it's a
permanent problem, or can tell us anything helpful, please write
in.  'We're waiting for YOUR call!'

What programme is that off?  It could be Crimewatch.  Or maybe
Comic Relief...  Hmm.


----------------------------------------------------------------

The flow of letters has picked up now - thanks for the response.
I would ask you not to let the increase be short lived, and to
keep writing - I try to use every letter.  Thanks again.

Rachel (ctd.)

  ...they bounced off the bubble.
  Then the bubble hit them to add a bit of variety.
  And when through them.
  For a moment, five dimensions mixed, where only three should
have been...
  The eight cows hung in the air, calmly, impossibly, looking
slightly surprised but serene nonetheless...
  And fell, as gravity and time remembered...

  CRUMP!
                              ----

  "What was the red button for?" asked Diggy, who wasn't sure
what all the fuss had been about.
  "To  land the cows safely," replied Harold. "Arbi said she got
bruised  all  down  one  side  when she hit the deck. And Merdyl
wasn't  happy,  because  they landed on her. They're all sulking
now,  and  who  aren't  they  speaking  to?  'It wasn't Freeda's
fault,'  they're  saying.  'Its  that  useless Harold. Better we


ejected  him  with  the other rubbish than keep him around.' The
fact  is,  if  it weren't for me, they'd not only be in a bubble
floating  around  space,  but they'd only be able to complain by
saying 'Mooo!' loudly! That's all the thanks you get these days!
Youngsters  today,  I  ask  you?  When  I was young, the sky was
bluer, the grass greener, why, you only had to go..."

Diggy  left  Harold on the Navigation console and walked over to
the  centre  of the control room (which Freeda had insisted upon
calling  the "Bridge", saying that there wasn't supposed to be a
river,  and  that  you'd  know  that  if  you  were a 'Trekkie',
whatever that was.)

The Dark, Shadowy Figure appeared to have got hold of a piece of
the bubble.

  "Interesting," he said, "how strange."
  "What is?" asked Diggy.
  "Look at this." He held out the piece of bubble. It floated.


  "Its massless, yet exists in three dimensions. Light passes
through it without refraction, and only 0.0001% is reflected off
the   surface;  the  rest  goes  through,  hence  it  is  almost
invisible," replied Diggy, smiling smugly.
  "No, that's not it. It smells of pizza."
  Diggy sniffed.
  "Perhaps its a Strange New Lifeform," said Freeda.
  Merdyl looked at Rachel, who would have been raising an
eyebrow, had she got any.
  "You have to make allowances, she's still shaken up from that
Work field failure," she explained.
  "Of course," replied Rachel, patronisingly.
  Freeda looked furious and stomped off, muttering something
about seeing if 'engineering has the warp drive fixed yet.'
  "Oi!" called Harold, who had stopped reminiscing. "Hadn't we
better  look  for some more cows? Twelve of us here, that leaves
thirty-three.  Shouldn't take too long, there's only infinity to
search.  Let's  go over there -" (the pointer extended again and
pointed  to a small, white dot on the view screen, almost hidden


amongst  several hundred thousand other small white dots) "- and
see what we find?"
  "Er, shouldn't we.." started Diggy, nervously, but Harold had
already started the Origami Drive.

Reality  folded and punctured. Dimensions were pushed through to
the  other  side  in  huge,  invisible  waves,  upon  which  the
Cowseeker  surfed.  (No-one  noticed  a  reality-skiing Spacerat
being  towed  along  behind.)  Then,  just  as quickly as it had
folded,  reality flattened, and the dimensional hole was plugged
again.

  Multidimensional unrestricted beings on a nearby planet heard
the dimensions gurgle noisily.

  "We're here!" announced Harold, three point four five nine
seconds later, cheerfully.
  Diggy peeled himself off the wall, and helped Merdyl off the
ceiling. Rachel struggled to her feet.


  "Thanks a bundle for the warning," said the Dark, Shadowy
Figure, unfolding his legs from the Tactical console.
  "You're welcome! I'm going to engage the gravity units again."
  "Wait! Warn the rest of the crew first!" shouted Merdyl, but
was, like Rachel, far too late. For thirty seconds the ship rang
with  the  sound  of  falling sheep, some holding on longer than
others.  Two minutes later an extremely angry Freeda walked into
the  control  room,  and,  calling  "Freeda on the Bridge!", put
Harold  carefully  onto the floor, jumped up and down on him ten
times,  put  him  back  on the Navigation console and walked out
again.
  "It's a good thing I can withstand that sort of shock," said
Harold,  trying  to  return  to a three dimensional shape again.
No-one answered.

...And,  in  a sudden and unexpected end to the instalment, the
antigravity  pads glowed a soft lilac, and the Cowseeker touched
gently down on an unexplored planet.
                    -+* To Be Continued! *+-
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
|                                                              |
|                     Hipposoft Presents:                      |
|                                                              |
| An Epic Tale of                               For Fredatives |
| an Accident, A            "Rachel"            /Fred Magasine |
| Man And His Cows                              Hipposoft 1992 |
|                                                              |
|                  Or, "The Forgotten Enemy"                   |
|                                                              |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+

LAST  TIME...  The  Cowseeker  drifts  through  space, its first
voyage  already a success. Not only has the Dark, Shadowy Figure
found  out  that  the  dimensional  bubble some of the cows were
trapped  in  smells of pizza, but the Origami drive, yet another
Universal  first, has folded space and leaped to another part of
the  galaxy  with  amazing  ease.  Even if nobody happened to be
ready  for it and ended up plastered over "The Bridge." With the
Spacerat close by, the Cowseeker touches down on a new world...



  "So you're after a singer?" said Merdyl to the Enterprising
Alien.
  /Brep "murf; .-:gargle\ said the Enterprising Alien, which
Harold translated as "Sure thing, baby."
  "And you're running auditions?"
  /"murf;\ ("Sure.")
  Diggy  was amazed. They had barely set two or four feet out of
the Cowseeker and up runs this short blue alien explaining about
a  universal  talent  contest.  And now he was about to lose his
Bovine Detect-O-Matic operator, because there was no doubt about
it, he'd heard Merdyl sing once before, and she was very good.

  They followed the Enterprising Alien to the audition hall, and
sat down to listen to Merdyl.

  "I'm going to sing my favourite, Where The Sheep Have No
Name,"  announced  Merdyl, nervously. Various tentacles wriggled
and  eyes  appeared  as  the  judges  readied themselves for the
performance.


  Merdyl started, and this is what she sang:

                         I want to run,
                       But never to hide.
                        Maybe to break,
                        Down the fence,
                     That holds me inside,
                      I want to reach out,
                       And eat the grain,
                Where the sheep have no name...

                        I want to feel,
                     The sun on my fleece.
                      I see the dark cloud
                           Disappear,
                        And I see geese,
                    I want to take shelter,
                       From being insane,
                Where the sheep have no name...



                 Where the sheep have no name!
                 Where the sheep have no name!
               Still building a barn in the mud,
                        Barn in the mud,
                       And if I go there,
                     There's nothing to do,
                 Where the sheep have no name,
                Can't take my eyes off of ewe...

                      And love's a maybe,
                    But then it's maybe not,
                      For love's a maybe,
                   And some winters are hot,
                    Remember loves a maybe,
                        Loves a maybe...

                        Farmlands apart,
                    Our fields turn to dust,


                         As in a warm,
                          Summer wind,
                        Machinery rusts,
                        Show me a place,
                   Higher than an aeroplane,
                Where the sheep have no name...

                 Where the sheep have no name!
                 Where the sheep have no name!
               Still building a barn in the mud,
                         Barn the mud,
                       And if I go there,
                     There's nothing to do,
                 Where the sheep have no name,
               I Can't take my eyes off of ewe...

                         Loves a maybe,
                        Loves a maybe...



                 Where the sheep have no name!
                 Where the sheep have no name!
                 Where the sheep have no name!
                 Where the sheep have no name!
                   The sheep have no name...

The  music  faded, ("lucky  I  brought my tape with me," thought
Merdyl,  "That's  the  thing  with these live shows, you have to
remember  all  those  tapes..")  and  was replaced by thunderous
applause.  (Well,  some of it was thunderous. Some of it sounded
like  fresh Haddock being dropped into buckets of slime, but the
thought was there. Especially so in the case of the telepaths.)
  /!; :Tphe n .=cpshowwee .-:gargle\ ("Wow! You're a hit baby!")
said the Enterprising Alien.
  "That was great," whispered Diggy, sadly.
  "Moooo!" said Rachel, who had once again turned Harold's field
away   from   herself,   feeling  that  as  a  hyper-intelligent
super-quasibeing  she would analyse the music rather than listen
to it.


  And Merdyl stood amongst the applause and the noise and the
cheers,  and  was  happy  for  a  moment; but then she saw Diggy
looking  at  her,  and  knew  of  the  choice  she  had to make.
Indicating  that  Diggy should follow, Merdyl left the stage and
went outside.

  And there, in the misty night, Diggy stood, facing Merdyl.
  Merdyl looked back, silently.
  A Spacerat watched, breath held.

  "Well?" he asked.

                    -+* To Be Continued! *+-