Fred 62

Issue 62

Magazine

CA                        Humba humba

At last, I've done it!  I've been with FRED now for a whole
year!  "Eh?" I hear you cry, "62 minus 51 is only 11!".  Well,
you're right, but I can promise you that if you work it out
carefully, you'll see that I have been here 12 months (sounds of
hundreds of people counting on their fingers, and a foot).

Well, a whole year.  I guess that makes me experienced.  An
experienced editor is always alert, ready to write at the last
minute and never gives pages stupid titles.

Oh dear.

Anyway, enough about that - a good editor won't go on about the
same thing for too long.  We soon know when people are getting
bored.  For instance, last month Colin Macdonald spent fourteen
hours writing a 30 page article called 'Rhubarbs - How To Spot A
Good One And The Best Ways To Grow Them'.  However, I refused to
include it because he spent too much time on 'Lengths & Widths'
and didn't address the situation of cost.  See?
CA                A Remarkably Sensible Title

Moving speedily along, straying not even for a second to a
subject not interesting or informative, this month began with a
trip to Butlin's for me.  Heck, thirty two quid for four nights
anywhere is worth it (except for old-person trips, I might avoid
them).

Er, no offence to old people.

The day before I went was a Sunday.  The menu that was promised
hadn't been written (not mentioning any names, Mr Goring), the
Manic Miner remix hadn't arrived (I still haven't seen it) and I
was running a LITTLE behind schedule.  However, I finished what
I could (including a different menu, and leaving enough room for
Manic Remix) at 2am on Monday morning, wrote Colin a letter of
explanation, piled it all into a bag and entrusted my brother to
put the Manic Miner remix in with it in the morning so that
Colin could put it together.  Bit of a sticky situation - you
probably read my little panic in Jellytext.  Still, I think it
worked, though God knows how...
CA              Beeeeeee uuuuuut leeeeeeeensssss

I had written a couple of pages about my holiday to Butlin's,
but when I read them back they were a bit rubbish - about as
funny as Colin Macdonald actually (yawn).

So instead, I'll keep you entertained by doing a little dance.

A one, a two, a one, two, three, four...

Zipadeeedoooo, shalum, shalum, ba doo waaaaaaa.  Jiddly, joddly,
jumba jumba jooooooooooooo - do wumpalumpalompagompa diddly
wotchagumpa dum, ba diddly wop bop zip-aaaaaa-deeeee-doooooooo.

I thank you.

Butlin's was really good by the way.  In case anyone actually
wants to know, it consisted of spending lots of money, staying
out past our bedtimes and running around with sleeping bags over
our heads shouting, "Ma-moo Ma-moo".

CA & RF                    Editorial

RF: Good afternoon, Mr Anderton, my name is Robert Fay from
    EWUK (Editorial Watchdog UK).

CA: Um, hello.  Do you know what rhymes with Fay?

RF: Mr Anderton, our watchdogs have been monitoring your
    editorials recently and reports have come back that you have
    not been providing suitable or sensible reading material.

CA: Sorry?

RF: Reports show that you have been using cheap gimmicks to fill
    space.

CA: Cheap gimmicks?  Meeeee?

RF: Yes.  For example, if you ever get stuck, you make a joke
    about Colin McDonalds.  Also, I have been shown numerous
    cases of sheer stupidity - so called satire, silly little
CA                      Editorial (yawn)

    poems and pretending someone else is here.

CA: Hey, that's not true.  Show me evidence.  (Gulp)

RF: Take this issue for example - a minute ago you did a dance.
    This isn't the sort of reading material that is expected of
    an editor.  You can't write words such as "wotchagumpa" and
    expect people to consider it money well spent.

CA: I thought it was funny.

RF: Well, it wasn't.  I'll be monitoring you, Mr Anderton and if
    I see just one more example of this, you'll be out of a job.

CA: Mr Fay, could you not stand so close to me, you smell.

RF: Mr Anderton, you're not taking this seriously.  Now get on
    and write an INTERESTING AND INFORMATIVE report about your
    visit to the European Computer Trade Show.  NOW.
CA                       Zoom.........

Only one day after Butlins, Colin Macdonald and Bob Brenchley
(that nice man from FORMAT) picked me up at 8 o'clock on a
Sunday morning (yes, you heard that right) (I tend to put of lot
of things in brackets, don't I?) (or do I?) (oh well).  Where
were we headed?  The European Computer Trade Show, of course.
We'd paid £92,000 for a 92 square foot stand for FRED and FORMAT
and got some people to dress up as SAMs and walk about.  The
stand was a huge Coupe stood on its end and the disc drive was
the door to get in and play demos and buy games.

No, I'm lying.

But Colin, Bob and I did go to ECTS but only to ponder round and
play on all the soon to be released games.  There was another
reason, but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to tell you, so I'd
better not say anything yet.

Bob was "driving" us to London, and to be fair he did a good
job, if you don't count the roundabout we shot over at 90 miles
CA                            ECTS

per hour because he didn't actually see it.  Oops, he told me
not to mention that!  Darn, what a silly mistake to make.  Oh
no, and my delete key has broken.  Oh well, I'll have to leave
it in now.  It's funny how things like that happen.

We got there in one piece, but after a careful operation we
were soon separated back into three pieces and the car.  Bob,
Colin and I then walked straight past dozens of people queueing
because we had special advance tickets.  By the way, did I
mention we had to wear suits?  Colin M looked like Paul McKenna
in his!  Ho ho ho.

If you've never been to ECTS before, you should try.  Just don't
say you're under 18 or you're a student because they won't let
you in (gulp).  Oh, and you have to be involved with a company.
When you walk in, there are massive stand all around you and
it's pretty incredible.

We found a meeting point, and for no reason whatsoever, no silly
CA                            ECTS

sneaky reasons, oh no, Colin went off somewhere.  Bob had
already gone to grab millions of free gifts, so I set off in a
random direction to play on something and clutching my bag ready
to fill it with freebies.  I had a wander around the Ocean stand
first of all and watched some people on the Super Nintendo's.
All the things are free to play on, so I grabbed a keypad and
played on some rubbish beat-em-up.

I moved round to the 7th level stand next where I was given a
free demo CD and a bag of green slime stuff (which I've had
great fun playing with since).  They were tempting people to buy
Battle Beast, a game coming out soon on various formats.  Next I
went to a simulator which was advertising a forthcoming game on
the 3DO called 'Fury'.  I and about 12 other people got in the
simulator.  Normally, simulators tilt about 10 degrees if you're
supposed to be falling vertically.  We were in the cockpit of
this plane in Fury, and it flew downwards sharply.  The machine
"tilted" about 70 degrees forwards and everyone screamed in
agony and lots of money fell towards the front.  "Steady on",
CA      "Computers always go wrong on me"  A. Fool, 1995

shouted a few people as we ducked, dived, swerved and blew the
hell out of everything.  It's an excellent simulator, but the
game looks as if too much attention has been paid to graphical
detail rather than the size of the game or the gameplay.

I played Starfighter 3000 on a 3DO next because it was converted
from the Archimedes.  The 3DO does wonders for the graphical and
speed side of the game, and sticks to the gameplay perfectly.
It's a wonderful flight sim, so if you're daft enough to buy a
3DO, get Starfighter 3000.

I then met the guy who programmed 'Sensible World of Soccer' on
the PC.  He challenged me to a game and as there was nobody
about, I said yes.  10 minutes later, I'd lost 5-1.  Darn.  I
turned around to see that about 50 people had been watching.
Help.  Still, it's a good footy sim - but there's not that much
improvement in the main game from the original.

I then walked into Colin and we went and checked out the Sony
CA               It cost 80p for a can of coke!

Playstations.  Sony really had stolen the show.  They had one
whole side of the upstairs gallery and decorated it more than
you'd have thought possible.  The Playstations really are
incredible.  You have to see one to believe it.  Colin and I had
a play on Ridge Racer and looked at 3D Lemmings (some girl gave
us some Jelly Beans for watching 3D Lemmings - apparently they
appear in the game!).  Colin said that 3D Lemmings was the next
SAM title!  That's a JOKE by the way, don't take it at all
seriously.  We saw a skateboard racing game where to you played
it using a real skateboard.  We laughed at that, but I have to
admit to going back and playing on it later.  It was a good
idea, but the game doesn't do any justice to the 3DO.

Colin again scuttled off somewhere and I carried on walking and
playing.  There were some incredible programs there and it makes
the Super Nintendo seem very dated.  However, there are two
problems.  Firstly, it's definitely a look, play, but don't buy
affair.  The other problem is that it's lost one of the best
appeals that computers have - the homely appeal.  It's all "buy
CA                         SAM RULES

the best", "look at these incredible graphics - buy it and don't
ask any questions".  There was no togetherness or homely appeal
that there is with the SAM and Speccy.  That's what we all enjoy
and need to keep going.  I don't think people care if their
Nintendo goes out of date - they just flog it cheap and buy
something else.  Most of us were heart-broken when Your Sinclair
finished - that sort of feeling has all been lost.

Bob Brenchley used to go to ECTS ten years ago and apparently
they were a lot better for these reasons.  There were also more
freebies at the older shows too!

Les Ferdinand was there showing off some soccer game and I spoke
to a really famous 3D0 programmer.  Everyone was stood watching
him saying, "He wrote that, he's supposed to be famous because
he's done a lot.", so I walked up to him and said hello and
asked what he was doing.  I've never heard of him or what he's
written, but never mind.

CA                 Blimey, this goes on a bit

I made a bit of a mistake at an educational stand.  You see,
there was a nice girl there.  So, I went up and started chatting
to her.  When asked what I was doing here, I told her that I was
representing my company but I'd also been asked to look out for
educational software for 5-10 year olds.  It was good because
she spent 10 minutes chatting to me about various rubbish, but
then she took my badge, blipped the bar code into their computer
and gave me a whole load of freebies.  So, either Colin or I
will be getting bundles of information on educational stuff
through the post!  Whoops.

After nine hours of walking around, we were all pretty
knackered.  Colin had finished what he was doing but had to come
back the next day for no reason.  So, Bob offered to drive him
around London looking for a B&B.  Londoners are incredibly
selfish on the roads and either cut you up every second or
refuse to let you out of a junction.  We spent about an hour
trying to find Colin a B&B.  Each one he went in was "full" -
they've obviously heard about his reputation in London as well!
CA                      ECTS - The End.

In the end, the one he found was £40 a night - and that was one
of the cheapest!

I said goodbye to Colin and Bob told him to hurry up and get out
of his car - in a kind, loving way though.  Then we began our
journey home.  The weather was pretty diabolical.  The rain was
coming down so fast we could barely see the car in front, the
road was so wet that even the smallest light blinded you and it
became incredibly foggy as well.  Bob coped pretty well though;
he only caused 7 major accidents.

All in all an excellent day.  It really is mind-blowing if it's
your first visit.  The stuff there is incredible.  However, you
can't afford anything, so you're only going there to mess about
on the games.  Heck, the SAM has a much friendlier user group
(even though we all hate each other!).  All we have to do is
laugh at the fools wasting thousands on something that will be
out of date in a year.  It's the second best show I've been to.
What's the best?  Guess.  (Clue: Rhymes with Ham & Speccy show)
CA                            News

The good news is that Grubbing For Gold is now out and selling
really well.  We've even been getting compliments from people
who have only played the game for a few hours!  Just in case you
didn't get FRED last month (which I hope every single one of you
did) Grubbing For Gold is a spoof quiz game based around that
really enjoyable show, Going For Gold.  Or "Goying Fer Gorld" as
the presenter blokey says.  You have to compete your way through
all the rounds to win the luxury holiday by answering as many
questions as you can and beating your computer or human
opponents.  There's massive amounts of humour in it to keep you
entertained, and the difficulty rises as you progress.  There
are hundreds and hundreds of questions - but also a question
editor, so you may see additional questions in FRED some time.
It's a star studded line up for the people making the game
including Dave Handley (of course), Matt Round, Tom Kincaid and
Steven Pick.  The game is an absolute bargain at just £9.99 and
an even bigger bargain for subbers at only £9.00!  Don't delay,
buy it today (puke).

CA                            News

SAMSprite, by Wayne Coles, has gone through a number of changes.
Firstly, after numerous recommendations from people who have
used it, he has added dozens of new options - including a LOAD
and SAVE in Gamesmaster style option.  Secondly, it is going to
be released by FRED Publishing.  Colin and I decided it was such
a professional and well-written utility that FRED should release
it, and we're pleased to say that Wayne has agreed.

SAMSprite has taken months of design and has incorporated dozens
of new features that have been recommended by programmers.  It
is a full sprite/background editor written by Wayne because he
noted that there were no such editors around.  There are full
facilities for animation testing, as well as a detailed mask
editor.  The editor also has the usual plot, fill, mirror, flip,
copy, etc.  All this and too many more options to list are
presented in an easy to use WIMP environment controlled by mouse
or keys.  SAMSprite comes with a detailed manual explaining each
of SAMSprites functions.  It should be out for the show priced
at £9.99 (£9.00 to subscribers).
CA                            News

SAM C steps back into the spotlight this month with a couple of
extras.  Firstly there is the bug fixer disc which has been sent
out free to everyone who purchased SAM C.  Secondly, a new C
library is hoped to be released at the next show.  The library,
SAM Vision, is a massive library allowing you to perform almost
any function you would need.  It is set to improve C programs a
hundred-fold and is an essential purchase if you already have
SAM C.

Nev Young has confirmed that there will be a prototype of his
hard drive at the Gloucester show.  The price still isn't
definite, but he hopes it will be under £150.  So, if you can't
believe the SAM is finally getting a hard drive, come and see it
with your own eyes.

Michael Stocks wishes to apologize to readers of Zodiac for
delays in recent issues.  The delays are due to his disc drive
breaking, but he hopes to sort this out soon.

CA                   The Ham & Speccy Show

This issue had better get to you before the Sam and Speccy show,
else I'm going to feel a right lemon.

Anyway, the countdown is upon us - only a few days remain until
the biggest and best show in the world.  What am I talking
about?  The Russ Abbot Show of course!  Nope, not really -
that's a load of rubbish.  I'm talking about The Sam And
Spectrum Range Of Computers Computer Fayre (The SAM & Speccy
show for short).  Hang on, I've done that joke before...

Cripes, I hope Russ Abbot doesn't read FRED, else I'll be
chatting to a magistrate soon.

Never mind that because on October the fourteenth, nineteen
ninety five (14 Oct. 1995) Quedgeley (or Quedgely, or Quedgley,
or Kwed-jelly) will be hosting the next Sam and Speccy show.  As
usual, the show is in Quedgeley village hall - a short bus ride
from Gloucester city centre.  The hall is very conveniently next
to Tescos - so if the small parking bit next to the hall is
CA                  The SAM and Speccy show

full, Tescos won't mind you using their car park (just buy a
loaf of bread or something to make them happy).  I'm not going
to give directions to Quedgeley because any Noddy can use a road
map, and Colin will probably slap directions on the newsletter
anyway.

If you do get lost, find a local and say (in Gloucester tongue),
"I werz warndereen oif yoo kerd tell moy hoo ter get ter
Tairscos in Quairjuloi".  All locals are very friendly, except
for the unfriendly ones, so you shouldn't have any trouble.

As ever, the show begins at 10am and runs until 4pm.  It costs a
couple of quid to get in, but once you are in, you'll be
smothered by bargains galore.  The Best Company 1994 (voted for
in the SAMDisk awards) will be there (FRED Publishing), so
you'll get to meet those two stars - Colin Macdonald and Colin
Anderton (you lucky things).  Among other companies will be
FORMAT, Revelation, Steves Software, Atomik, F9 software, etc.
Refreshments and snacks are available at very reasonable prices,
CA           Support the SAM and come to Gloucester

and there is a pub just over the road where meals are served.
No sneaking off for a quick drink though...

So come along, make a day of it, and bring plenty of money to
the FRED stand!  Don't forget to come and introduce yourself - I
probably won't recognise you or your name but please don't get
offended.  I'll do my best to pretend I know you.

And don't forget, you'll also get the chance to see the much
talked about FRED jumper!  If you spend over £40, I'll even let
you touch it.  Spend over £300 at the FRED stand, and you can
have it!  Seriously!  It looks as if Colin WON'T be wearing his
kilt this time, so there's no need to be frightened.

Have a safe journey down (or up), and both Colin and I look
forward to meeting you.



CA                       Disc Contents

Well, you've read enough of my blurb - now what is filling up
your precious 798,720 bytes this month?

We've got our first SAM C library for a start.  Yes, a whole C
library costing you next to nothing.  Can any of our longer
serving (or back issue reading) FRED subbers can remember a few
years back when Stefan Drissen provided us with a fast sprite
printing routine?  Well, some person called ):?( has written a
very similar thing for SAM C.  It will make sprite handling an
easier task and, erm, should allow people to write a multitude
of, er, things.  Tell you the truth, I still haven't learnt SAM
C, but I will soon and when I do, I might understand what this
program does.  Thanks to Matthew Vowles for our premiere C
library on FRED.

Also, we've got a little game written by Mr Peter Vinnicombe.
It's called Whirleygig (for some reason) and is a collect up the
fruit and avoid the baddies type game.  Or should I say a
platformer?  Who knows.  As Peter himself says, it's dead
CA                       Disc Contents

obvious but for the slower ones among us, you have to walk about
going up and down the little stairways picking up the bits of
fruit and avoiding the evil bad guys.

I've worked out a handy method for playing this game.  As there
is only a single node that checks where you are for going up
stairs, you have to be stood in exactly the right place.
However, if you want to go up through a door, walk towards it
holding on either up or down.  When you reach the door your
character will stop moving across.  Let go of the across key and
he will go up or down onto the next platform.  Then let go of
the up/down key and keep walking.  Easy.

We've also got a section called Dan's Department which is an
assortment of various programs by Dan Doore (hence Dan's
Department).  Firstly it has got a short BASIC demo just to say
goodbye to BASIC and hello to SAM C.  It's got a clever scrolly,
too.  Next, there is a clinic thing that will sort out any
mental problems you may have.  And finally there is a pretty
CA                       Dithc Contenth

useful utility that does something clever for screen converting.
Dan explains this a little better than I have, so take a gander.

Jellytext is also here, and is as funny as ever (eg. not).  Only
joking, Matt Round (who incidentally doubts he will write Santa
Goes Psycho 3 - how about we all write to FRED and beg him?)

We've got the last ever episode of the hilarious Rachel.  Yes,
it doesn't seem to to completely stop, but.

Let us not forget the wonderful menu that you've just used.
It's from Graham Goring and is his first machine code success.
Good work Graham, it's a shame we don't pay for menus.  He he
he.

We have an exlusive Grubbing For Gold, erm, section.  It's not
really a demo, but it does give you a bit of an idea what the
game is about.  The bits of questions missing are deliberate  -
they get built up.  It's not a bug!
CA                       Disc Contents

Font designer 2 is from Rob Pain and is an updated version of
Font Designer 1 (that's a bit obvious).  This one features a
really nice editing suite (posh, huh?) and full mouse or
keyboard control.  Thanks Bob.

E-Tunes are from a new name (I think), Sean Bernard and from a
more regular musician, Jack Bailey.  Thanks to them both.  Not
only do you get e-tunes, but there's also a module on this
month and it has been sent in by Ian Dodd.  Thank you.

In bits and bobs, we have a rather nice stereogram generator
from Mork (write something new so I can put it on the main
menu!), there is a Connect 4 game from Graham 'Speccy Graphics'
Goring and there is a Dancey flashy demo from Rob Pain.  A
million thanks go out to them all.

There is also a wonderful editorial by Colin Anderton and lots
of letters.  And screens.

CA             Une contribution, s'il vous plait

I haven't had to do this for many a month, but once again the
FRED stock pile is getting a wee bit low.  It's mainly main menu
contributions I'm after, so if you've been thinking of writing a
game, or if there's a program that you half wrote then I'd be
eternally grateful if you could make an effort to get them
written.  There's a £5 or £10 voucher for you, entitling you to
money off any product that you buy from FRED.  Come on, let's
see those m/c, BASIC, Gamesmaster, SCADS and especially SAM C
programs written.  The more the merrier...     Thanks.

I'll use this half a page to remind you of a few rules that it
would be nice if you could stick by.  When sending anything on
disc, please put your name on the disc or on the bootfile so
that I know who has written it.  Screens should be sent
uncompressed.  I'd prefer letters on disc (but that isn't too
important).  Remember, SCADS programs can be compressed using
Imploder (issue 56) and loaded as code.  Apart from that, try to
use as few files as possible, but don't panic if it uses a lot.
I'll get in touch if the number of files is the only problem.
CA                           Merci

Director : Macdonald, Colin       (BLIMEY!  COLIN AND I HAVE THE
Editor   : Anderton, Colin         SAME FIRST NAME!  Spooky)

And this months line-up of writers, programmers and artists is:

                 Doore, Dan   T    Pain, Rob
            Vowles, Matthew   H    McGugan, William
          Vinnicombe, Peter   A    Goring, Graham
              Handley, Dave   N    Glover, Phil
                Round, Matt   K    Young, Doug
        Hodgekinson, Andrew   Y    Hawes, Alan
              Bernard, Sean   O    Paveley, Tim
               Bailey, Jack   U    Dodd, Ian

FRED Publishing,        See you all next month (Nov. 16th)
[redacted]                 when FRED comes to you from
                                  Nottingham!

            <-Send adverts to THIS address, not the other.

CA                         Apologies

I did have a PD section and some film reviews for this bit, but
unfortunately the disc they were on must have had a bent shutter
because it got jammed in my drive.  Time to panic!  When I tried
to eject it, it only came about 5mm out of the drive, not enough
to be able to grip it with my fingers.  I got an ajustable
spanner and gripped the disc and tried to pull - but it was
jammed.  I panicked, then I panicked, then I panicked.  After
deciding there was nothing I could do but take a chance, I
pulled the thing really hard and it came out bout another 5cm.
And jammed.  It wouldn't wriggle loose, so I tried the same
again.  Bingo it came out - but without the shutter.  By sheer
luck, my shutter was sticking out a bit and I managed to pull it
out with tweezers.  Once again, I was incredibly lucky because
the spring bit came out with it.

I'm pleased to say that it appears that my drive works normally,
so I should be alright.  Considering I'm off to Uni tommorrow, a
failed disc drive would have caused severe problems.  Hmm,
that's quite a detailed excuse for not including the extras...

Letters & Reviews

                    Letter From Phil Glover

Dear Colin,
            thanks for issue 60 of FRED. It's good to see that
FRED is doing so well, and that the content is better than ever.
I keep my issues of FRED in REXEL disk boxes which only hold 20
disks, so box number 3 is now full. If you ever decide to stop
the magazine, please try and do so on a multiple of twenty, if
it's not too much trouble... However, I've no objection to you
continuing as long as you like, as I'm sure I could sort out
something else.

Much as I like SAM, I still enjoy many old Spectrum titles.
Luckily, there seem to be several Spectrum disks which I try to
get whenever possible.  Games I desperately want to get are
TAU-CETI, WHERE TIME STOOD STILL and STARGLIDER (all 128K).  One
converted game I've 'seen' is AMAUROTE, which was a very neat
budget game, and always worth a look.

At the risk of filling the hearts of the FRED team with cold
dread, I must tell you that another SAM adventure is due for
                    Letter From Phil Glover

release.  [Eh? - CA]  Whatever you may say about adventures, I
love them [Me too! - CA].  Anyway, the new game is called
WONDERLAND and comes all the way from New Zealand.  It was
written for the authors' children, but would also suit people
not too used to adventures.  The game is set in Lewis Carroll's
Wonderland, with nursery rhyme characters included.  Lots of
puzzles, locations and quite a lot of graphics too.  The game
will be sold by Derek Morgan.

Talking of adventuring, I'm pleased to tell you all that the
annual Adventurers' Convention is to be held on Saturday 21st
October at the Royal Angus Hotel, birmingham.  Last year it was
held on the same day as the Gloucester SAM & Spectrum Fair, but
no such clash of dates this year.  This means I'll attend both,
and will take my monitor and SAM to the convention, maybe to
meet up with some other SAM owners.  One or two other SAM owners
are writing adventures, so I'll keep you posted about any
progress.

                    Letter From Phil Glover

I'm really looking forward to the next SAM fair to see how the
new hard drive is coming along.  This will be an essential
purchase, especially if it'll support a 500+ meg disk.  Steve
Nutting is supposed to be planning to do a SC_WORD PRO upgrade
for hard disk, which is great news.  Maybe other software will
be similarly altered, such as SAM PAINT, OUTWRITE, etc.  It'll
give my disk drives a bit less work to do, which will be good
news.  Is it my imagination, or does the SAM scene look
healthier than it has done for ages?  The increasing amount of
software and hardware are really making the most of SAM, and
magazines such as FRED play a vital part in the creation of such
products.  Hmmm...  I seem to be ending the letter with praise,
as well as starting with praise.

                      All the very best,

                          Phil Glover


                     Reply To Phil Glover

Glad to see you're enjoying FRED.  Colin and I were planning on
finishing FRED on issue 776, but due to your disc box problem,
we'll keep going until issue 780.  Is that OK?

There are lots more Speccy discs planned from FRED in the near
future, so keep your eyes peeled.

Why do you say us FRED people hate adventures?  Maybe Colin M
and Brian weren't too keen on them, but I like some adventures.
Inspector Flukeit annoyed me because I couldn't find this vicar
bloke, but I completed Zzzzz once.  Seabase Delta was my first
and favourite adventure, but I'm stuck - I can't open some big
doors or get past this camera thing.  Sigh.

As for the hard drive, we're going to wait and see what happens.
If the hard drive sells OK then we are considering a number of
programs, including SAMPaint, for hard drive compatability.  If
you want them altered, buy the hard drive!

                   Letter From Douglas Young

Dear Fred,

Well, hello, just thought I would write you a letter and
congratulate you on the spectacular FRED 60, well what can I say
about it?.....well it's pretty damn good, and that's putting it
bluntly isn't it (oh by the way I am writing this letter on
Pro-Type, which as you all know was on issue 60).

The main reason that I am writing in to you is because I am
requesting assistance from anyone out there that can help me
with the following items. First up is to do with the speed at
which the sam runs, a while ago there were rumours of people
creating a board for the sam that would allow it to run a lot
faster, but due to some problems it wasn't completed, so what I
am wishing to know is this, is there anyone out there that can
supply me the details that I would need to make one of these
boards (components list and a construction display)?

Next is this, if anyone knows a way of boosting the graphics on
                   Letter From Douglas Young

the sam I would be very grateful for their information, what I
am talking about is probably a completely new graphics card for
the sam, but I know it is possible. So if there is anyone out
there that can supply me with a components list and construction
details I would be very interested.

Next is this (familiar start eh?), is it possible to add a CD
drive to the coupe, I know that first you would have to boost
the running speed up to 25mhz and have about 4 meg on board ram,
but what I am wanting to know is if anybody knows a way of doing
the above.

Do you have any idea of when the sam hard drive will be
released?

Well on to a little plug (that's if you don't mind Colin?), DAFT
2 will be available from 18-10-95 at 3.00 [I take it you mean £3
and not at 3 o'clock? - CA] (2 disks, cased and with plenty of
graphics) and daft issue 3 will be available (at the slightly
                   Letter From Douglas Young

earlier time) from the 12-12-95, with an amazing 5 disks packed
full of games, demos, music, screens and loadsa text. Daft 3
will be released at the unbelievable price of 3.00 (same as
daft 2), 5 disks for 3.00 (8.00 cased). I must be mad, but it is
definitely true) so if you are wishing to get your hands on this
issue (issue 3), I severely suggest that you order early (by
15-11-95 should do) if you want to be sure of getting a copy
before Christmas.

Well anyway, I would be very grateful if anyone out there can
supply me with details on the hardware topics I have mentioned,
and I would also like to say FRED RULES. BYYYYYYEEEEEE.

Any cheques to D Young: M.D.L software/ Daft/D J YOUNG
                        HOLMRIGG
                        WESTER ESSENDY
                        BLAIRGOWRIE
                        PERTHSHIRE
                        PH10 6RD
                      Reply To Doug Young

Didn't I give you a plug last month?  Cheeky young devil!  Tch.

The speed and graphics of the SAM have constantly been talked
about.  There have been numerous people saying they can improve
both and all have let us down.  I very much doubt anyone got so
far as designing a board - if they had, we would have seen
something.

A CD is something not talked about - but mainly because it has
been agreed that the SAM doesn't need one.  A disc drive is
plenty for the sort of things you need to feed into your SAM.
SAM companies couldn't afford to produce just a few CDs,
especially when the SAM doesn't need it.  A floppy and a hard
drive is all that is needed for importing and storage.

Sorry to be negative - things will come out, just have faith and
time.


                Letter From Mr B Neal (I think)

Thank you for te last supply of disks you sent me.  I think that
my ROM is a ROM 2 but where on earth do I contact to inquire
about a ROM 3?

I don't know whether you could send me a disc which explains to
me how I can get the CITIZEN ABC colour printer to print in
colour from the SAM Coupe, did Dr Wright make another type of
disk to enable the printer to operate the colours?

Has anybody come up with a formulae how to get the Sam Coupe to
print draw round circles instead of the oval-looking rings yet?
Here are some of my findings - not 100% round but far better
than the circle command.

PLOT 130,40: DRAW 1,80,9/3.3: DRAW 1,-80,9/3.3
compare this to CIRCLE 130,80,40

PLOT 90,40: DRAW 1,40,8/2.81: DRAW 1,-40,8/2.81
compare this to CIRCLE 90,59,20
                     Letter From Mr B Neal

SPINS:

10 PLOT 90,90: DRAW 11,10,2/COS 11: PAUSE 20: CLS
20 PLOT 19,40: DRAW 12,24,77981:PAUSE 20: CLS
30 PLOT 160,60: DRAW 1,38,335/COS 34: PAUSE 20: CLS
40 PLOT 110,50: DRAW 51,24,24770/COS 89: PAUSE 20: CLS
50 PLOT 110,100: DRAW 3,-55,67/COS 11

                         Best Regards

                           MR B NEAL








                      Reply to Mr B Neal

Blimey, we're turning into FORMAT!  We'll have our own 'SHORT
SPOT' soon!  Anyway, try it out - I haven't.  Yet!  Just goes to
show that even after this many years, we can still find faults
with our beloved SAM - now it can't draw circles properly.
Bless it's little blue legs.

You'll be pleased to know that FRED stocks ROM 3 chips at £12
each.

AND we also stock the PBT Colour Dump Software which lets
Citizen/Star printers print out in colour - and for the bargain
price of only £7.  However, this month only, we're selling them
for only £6.99!  Colin M doesn't know yet, but when he sees how
many people buy it, he'll be grateful for my entrepeneurship.

                                                  ↑
                                      AAARRGH!  Long word alert!


                     Letter From Alan Hawes

Dear Colin,

Just thought I'd drop you a line to plug a spiffing bit of
hardware that has hit the Sam scene.

What is it?  ****QUAZAR SURROUND**** from monsieur Colin Piggot.

This little gem provides the Sam with new sound capabilities &
with a monthly disczine containing very polished utilities, such
as a speaking clock working under interrupts. This allows you to
program in basic with the hearty knowledge that your sam will
tell you the time whenever requested or every fifteen minutes.
Handy if you like writing programs at stupid hours in the
morning.  [Erm, yes, how useful (?) - CA]

Anyway, with the potential sound capabilities now at our hands
who's going to be foolish enough to miss out on some extremely
good games with sampled sound??? Amalthea is the first major
release & I'd love to plug this as well but my copy was
                     Letter From Alan Hawes

corrupted by the dear post office so I can only presume that the
glowing reports from other circles are a fair reflection of the
game's worth.

Buy this unit all of you!!! The price is fair, considering that
Sam hardware producers lack the luxury of being able to order
boards etc in huge batches as the Sam world doesn't quite match
the PC world for numbers of users. Any criticism of the price
shows a general lack of appreciation of the problem facing any
development within Sam circles & generally a lack of hardware &
the monthly disczine contains very useful bits & pieces.

There is lots more I could tell you, like the Quazar studio, mod
player & sample player, but, hey, just buy the thing & find out
yourself.

Love & kisses,

Alan Hawes
                      Reply to Alan Hawes

Are you sure you're not Colin Piggot in disguise?  If you are
then you're a naughty, cheating young man.  If not then Mr
Piggot has obviously done the SAM proud with his new piece of
hardware!

Thanks for the, erm, review (ish).  One thing though, if you
ever write me a letter again (and I hope you do), please ask me
a question.  I don't have a clue how to fill up this page.  If
you find time, please review Amalthea.

Erm, love and hugs, (!)     "
                           ""
         """""          """ "      "
        "     "     """"    "
       "          ""    "   "      "   """
       "         ""     "   "     ""  "   "      (See what I've
       "        " "     "   "    " "  "   "       resorted to?)
        "    """  "    "    "   "  "  "    "
         """"      """"      """    ""      """""
                    Letter From Tim Paveley

Colin,

Seeing your mention of e-mails, I thought I'd jot mine down
again for ease of location!

                     [redacted]

& the web pages

           http://whig.ecs.soton.ac.uk/~tsp93/coupe/

Well, will probably see you at the show, I have money to spend.


                    Tim Paveley      ....@/




                     Reply to Tim Paveley

Thanks for that Tim.  If anyone has access to the net, the Web
Pages is the place to go to find out everybody's e-mail numbers
as well as all the latest gossip, news, moans and arguments.

That last mention of having money has made Colin drool a bit.
The piece of paper is still wet!

See you at the show...




              WILL SOMEBODY ASK ME A QUESTION????






                            Reviews

Nobody seems to want to review anything, so there isn't a
reviews section this month.  Come on, you've had all Summer to
play games - now get down to reviewing them.  Don't worry about
spelling or grammar, I'll sort all that out - just write
something.





                     Oops, another big gap.

Rachel (ctd.)

"A
     A
         A
             a
                 a
                     a
                         a
                             a
                                 r
                                     r
                                         g
                                             g
                                                 h
                                                     h
                                                         h
                                                             !",


said Diggy, noisily.


  "Someone get this thing under control!" yelled Rachel, as the
Cowseeker  tumbled  through  the  Strange,  New  Universe  in  a
slightly less than controlled manner.
  "I can't!" yelled Merdyl.
  "Why not?" yelled Rachel.
  "A little light keeps on coming up saying, 'This ship is no
longer  under  control~  every  time  I try to use the engines!"
yelled Merdyl back.
  "We know that!" yelled Rachel.
  "Try telling this then!" yelled Merdyl.
  "Why are we all yelling?" yelled the Dark, Shadowy Figure.
  "I don't know!" yelled Rachel and Merdyl together.
  "Then shut up!" yelled the Dark, Shadowy Figure in
desperation.
  "OK!" yelled Rachel and Merdyl, shutting up.

The  silence  that followed was quite surprising, since everyone
expected  alarms and things to be going off. There were none. In
fact,  apart from Diggy, who was still saying "AAAaaaarrgghhh!",
it was remarkably quiet.

  "That's better," said Freeda. "I think we aught to get on with
the search, don't you?"
  "AAAaa - " said Diggy. "Oh, we've stopped."
  "Yes, I pressed this button and it seemed to help."
  "Which button?"
  "This one!" Freeda pointed a hoof at a button marked, "stop
ship spinning."
  "What does that do?" asked Diggy, stupidly.
  There was a pause.
  "Er... I think it stops the ship spinning," answered Freeda,
who wasn't sure herself.

At  that  point everyone decided that it might be a good idea to
shut  up  for  a  bit and Think About It, as this seemed to have
worked in the past.

                              ----

The Spacerat looked on, amused.


  "Well what are we going to do then?" asked the Dark, Shadowy
Figure. "Where do we start?"
  Merdyl prodded the Bovine Detect-O-Matic, which bleeped.
  "Why did that bleep?" asked Diggy.
  "I prodded it," answered Merdyl. "It says, ~I'm taking you to
the nearest cows now.~"
  "Oh good," said Diggy.
  "It also says, ~3...~"
  "Er," said the Dark, Shadowy Figure.
  "~2...~"
  Acti-Cat, who wasn't really With It, but who had got the
general idea that the ship was Origami Drive based and was about
to leap to a new destination very shortly, gibbered.
  "~1...~"
  Diggy looked amazed. "What an odd noise for an ovenglove to
make,"  he  said. It should be noted that it was not a matter of
galactic  consequence  that he was the third being to think that
the  multicoloured  animal  looked  like  the  burnt  side of an
ovenglove,  it  was  simply that the multicoloured animal really
DID look like the burnt side of an ovenglove.

  "I think we're about to get squashed," said the Dark, Shadowy
Figure.
  "Why's that?"
  "~0...~"
  "Just a hunch."

Once again, reality was folded and punctured; dimensions flooded
through,  the  Cowseeker rode the wave forward, and the Spacerat
surfed  behind.  The  hole  closed  with  a loud gurgle, and the
Cowseeker,  which  had  appeared  right  next  to  a large space
station,  extended  the  "Your Tour Guide Will Be Along Shortly"
flag before docking and opening the hatch with an obliging ping.

  "We're here," said Freeda brightly, who had stood for the
whole  time  in  the  middle of the Bridge and not moved at all.
"Let's go!" she said, and went.

Everyone  else  groaned  and  peeled themselves off the relevant
walls  and control consoles. From deep within the Cowseeker came
the familiar thud of falling sheep.

  "Everyone OK?" asked Arbi.
  "Fine," they answered, having got used to that sort of thing a
long time ago.
  "Shall we go then?"
  "Sure," they replied.

Slowly  and painfully, the others went out through the hatchway.
They found themselves in a small room where Freeda was standing,
looking  impatient.  On one of the walls was a large, irritating
sign  saying,  "Please  Wait";  just  below it was a smaller but
paradoxically  more  irritating  sign  saying,  "after  all, you
haven't got a lot of choice, have you?"

Ten  minutes  later,  a door in the far wall slid open and a cow
sized board duster drifted in.

  "Hello," said the board duster. "I'm your friendly tour
operator. Please follow me."
  "A board duster?" asked Diggy whilst the guide was still
within earshot, but was ignored. The others followed.

  "You'll have to excuse all the people flying around," said the
guide, "but it's the migration season. All the board dusters are
looking  for  one  room to sit in, to confuse anyone looking for
them."
  A flock of dusters flew past, on cue.
  "Excuse me," said Harold, who was being carried by Diggy, "but
what happens if the person looking gets the right room and finds
everyone at once?"

The  guide  stopped,  and  thought about this for a while. A few
more flocks flew past, all heading in the same direction.

  "After all," continued Harold, "the room must be very big to
hold  all those duste - er, people, so it must be really easy to
find.  In  fact,  anyone following the flocks could get straight
there easily."

The  guide thought a bit more. "Ahhhh, yesss, I see your point,"
said  the  guide,  "I  can  see  what you're getting at, but I'm
afraid it has one fatal flaw."

  Harold new he shouldn't ask, but did anyway. "And what would
that be?"
  "Well to get around the problem of being found, we devised a
system  whereby  there  was  nobody  looking. That way, everyone
would  be  happy.  The  people hiding wouldn't be found, and the
people  looking  wouldn't  get  bored not finding anyone else as
there wouldn't be any to start with." The guide rocked back onto
its felt pad, looking smug.
  Harold gave up, predicting the rest of the conversation. "I
see," he said, not seeing at all.
  "Can we get on with the tour then?" asked the guide.
  "Yes," said Harold.
  "No more questions?"
  "No."
  "Sure?"
  "NO."
  "Only if you have, could we get them over now only we'll be
here  all  day  if people keep on asking all these things and we
have  to keep on stopping and starting and stopping and starting
and stopping and - "

  "NO!"
  The guide looked at bit miffed at being interrupted, but
carried  on  anyway.  "Right  then," it said. "If you'll look to
your  right,  you  can  see  the library, where we will be going
shortly."

Everyone looked to the right.

  "Ta ta ta da, daa daaa! Acti-cat," said Acti-cat, for
attention.

The  guide sighed. It had just had a hard day, what with getting
covered  in  that  yellow  chalk  and  then  the  purple on top,
creating  a  terrible clash. And now there was a difficult group
to  take  on  tour. It decided to shorten the normal tour and go
straight to the library now.

Maybe the librarian would sort them out.

                    -+* To Be Continued!*+-
+--------------------------------------------------------------+
|                                                              |
|                     Hipposoft Presents:                      |
|                                                              |
| An Epic Tale of                               For Fredatives |
| an Accident, A            "Rachel"            /Fred Magasine |
| Man And His Cows                              Hipposoft 1992 |
|                                                              |
|                  Or, "The Forgotten Enemy"                   |
|                                                              |
+--------------------------------------------------------------+

LAST TIME...

Following  going  to  a project area to look for cows, and being
thrown  out  of  it by a large explosion caused by a huge Thing,
the  Cowseeker  under the direction of the Bovine Detect-O-Matic
had  folded  space  and  jumped  to a space station populated by
board  dusters.  An  annoyed tour guide decided to shorten their
tour of the station by going straight to the library.


  "This is the library," whispered the Guide.
  Diggy and the others looked around a large room filled with
tables,  at  which  groups  of board dusters were sitting having
conversations, and wondered where all the books were.

  Suddenly a voice drifted over from a door in the far corner of
the  library.  It  was  the  sort  of voice that instantly makes
everyone want to commit murder and suicide simultaneously.
  "Will the people in the library who can't keep quiet please go
out?" said the voice. All the board dusters ignored it.
  "Who was that?" asked Merdyl, suppressing the desire to get an
axe and massacre whoever it was on the other side of the door.
  "The librarian," whispered the Guide, in awe. The door opened.

Out of the doorway marched a small, immediately annoying sort of
board  duster  which  turned towards the group of travellers. It
reached the table nearest to them, leant forward on it, and said
"Have  you  got any work to do?" in the general direction of the
Guide,  whilst  at  the  same  time  looking straight at a board
duster  some  distance away which for the past four hours hadn't

said anything. The duster in question started to get nervous.

  "I was just showing these people round your library," said the
Guide,  shuffling  its  felt  pad uneasily. The librarian stared
more  intensely  at  the  other  duster,  which  became severely
paranoid,  and  sighed pitifully. The Guide shuffled a bit more.
"I'll  leave them in your capable hands then, shall I?" it said.

This  seemed  to  please the librarian enormously, as it stopped
staring  at  the  other  duster  which had unfortunately already
strung  itself  up from one of the many fans that hung above the
room.

  "Er, excuse me," said Rachel, "but why do they call this a
library?"

The librarian sighed again, this time in a sort of condescending
manner  that  was  more  annoying  than its voice. Wordlessly it
indicated  a shelf by the left hand wall, on which was a forlorn
collection  of  randomly arranged old textbooks. Dotted here and

there  were parts of the Ladybird Fairy Tale collection, and the
prized  book  sitting  on a separated shelf of its own was "Wuff
Wants To See Winter".

  The librarian went back to its room, and Freeda went over to
read about Wuff. The rest of the group spread out to examine the
various strange items around the library, such as the mysterious
collection of padded chairs set in their own corner of the room,
with  some  out  of date magazines scattered around, but with no
dusters  sitting in them.
  "It's  too  hot in here, they should put the fans on," thought
Diggy,  and  sat down to rest. Freeda reached the bit where Wuff
fell in the stream trying to catch crabs.
  Suddenly, from the librarian's room came a loud screeching
sound  from  a  dot matrix printer. Freeda dropped the book. The
noise carried on for about a minute, and suddenly stopped. There
was  a soft sigh throughout the library as everyone welcomed the
silence.
  Immediately it started again, and one minute later, just as
before, it stopped. This time the strange sound of board dusters

spitting  out the bits of table they'd bitten through punctuated
the  silence, in which Freeda picked up Wuff again and continued
reading.  Wuff  had left the cave, and was huddling under a pile
of leaves.

  BEEP, said a computer from inside the librarian's room.

  Everyone jumped. Freeda dropped the book and lost the page,
but soon found it again.

  BEEP, BEEP. BEEP, said the computer. Freeda was so involved in
the story that she didn't notice, but everyone else did.
  "Lemmings on toast," said the Dark, Shadowy Figure in
annoyance. A passing lemming punched his foot.

  "Ta da da da, da daaah! Acti-Cat!" yelled Ovenglove, running
into the library. "Hey! Its a bit cold in here!"
  Freeda shivered as the wind howled around Wuff.
  "You're right," said Merdyl, climbing out from under the table
where  she'd  hidden in anticipation of the Librarian's imminent

attack,  which oddly, hadn't come. As it happened, the librarian
was occupied with turning on the fans.
  An ascending wine pierced the air, and pieces of paper started
to  swirl  around  the  room.  Freeda  huddled next to the shelf
thinking  it  was  snowing.  The  printer started again, and the
computer  started  to  practice  its  morse  code. Various board
dusters  started  to  gibber, and the lemming punching the Dark,
Shadowy figure was blown away. Acti-cat ran after it.

  "Look!" shouted Rachel over the din. "Cows! I can see COWS!"

                             ----

  Acti-cat chased the lemming around the library, totally
unaware  of  its destination. Tripping up, she tumbled head over
heels  and thumped into the wall next to Freeda, who was crying.
The  lemming, who had so far not had the best day on record, had
also bumped into the wall, and was promptly squashed.

                              ----

  "Where?" shouted Diggy, who had heard.
  "Look out," thought the Spacerat, but no-one could hear it.

                              ----

  Several cows flew through the air and landed on Diggy.
  "Ooof", he said.
  "Hoorah!" said Rachel, happily. "Lets go!"
  She ran off towards the door but got lifted into the air by
the  fans  before  she  reached  it. The cows floated off Diggy,
who followed them into the air, perhaps not because of the fans,
but more because he had a hoof was stuck in his mouth.

  The whine had gone into ultrasound how, and to everyone's
relief,  it  cracked  the  monitor screen of the computer, which
exploded.  The  printer  stopped, and another loud bang emanated
from  the  control box of the fans on the wall. The fans stopped
almost  immediately, this ripping themselves from their supports
in  the roof. After the initial cires of dusters, sheep, people,
fans,  Dark Shadowy Figures and cows crashing downwards came the

more  gentle sound of paper falling to the floor. Ther was a pop
as  the  lemming returned to its normal, three dimensional state
and  ran  off,  and  a groan from the librarian's room. A gentle
sobbing came from Freeda.
  "Winter's here to stay! Ohh!" said Freeda. Merdyl picked
herself up and improvised.
  "For a little while! Not forever!" she said.
  "Oh," replied Freeda, standing up and putting the book back on
the  shelf.  However,  the  shelf  had got broken when a cow had
bounced  off it earlier, so the book slid off it and fell on the
floor.  "That's all right then. Hey! Look! This place is full of
cows!"
  The library was temporarily filled by loud Mooos of reply.
  "Harold!" shouted Merdyl.
  "Over here," said Harold. Merdyl lifted the fan off the small,
grey  cube  and  tried to smooth out the dents, without success.
"Well? What?"
  "Can you extend the field to these cows please?"
  "No," said Harold. "I can if we get to the ship, though!"


  Half an hour later, after finding everyone, the group left the
library and went back to the ship. Upon counting they found that
no  less  than  seventeen  cows had been taking a holiday on the
space  station.  Having been clustered together in a group, even
though  they  hadn't  originally  teleported  at  once, they had
arrived  in  the  same  area.  Diggy gave the information to the
Bovine  Detect-O-Matic  (which  said  "Big  Deal"  but  gave the
navigation  console their next destination anyway), got everyone
sitting  down  and  activated  the  origami drive. For the first
time,  they  leapt a respectable distance without everyone being
flattened  throughout the ship, the Spacerat in tow, to continue
the search.
  "Hey, we're getting good at this, aren't we?" said Diggy,
enthusiastically.  No-one  answered directly but Merdyl looked a
little   embarrassed   and   a   few   of   the  crew  sniggered
sarcastically.

   With twenty-nine cows found, just sixteen lost, they turned
to the viewscreen to find out where they were.
                    -+* To Be Continued *+
CA                          The End

And that's the complete Rachel.  I know it doesn't end, but it
was intended to be continued.  I'll end it if you want.

                        RACHEL PART 17

They looked at the screen, and lo and behold, they were in Cow
Heaven.

"Oh", said Diggy, "we're all dead."

"Yep", said Freeda, "we died in part three."

"Ho ho ho ho ho ho", they all chuckled.


                        -+* THE END *+-