Description
Issue 66
| Item | Author | Description |
|---|---|---|
| Editorial | Books Galore, Sam Encyclopedia | |
| Letters | Notepad, Hard Drive, Zodiac Review | |
| C-Library | Luke Falla | A Sam C Graphics Library |
| Zoinks | Matt Round | Puzzling Colour Zapping Game |
| Spectres | Robert Pain | Ghostly Demo |
| Captain Cosmic | Victor Cooper | Arcade Superhero Action Game |
| 'The' Interview | Colin Anderton | With David Handley |
| E-Tunes | David Laundon | Musical Heaven |
| Jellytext | Matt Round | Titter Titter Titter |
| Nine Card | Paul Eyre | Gambling Card Game, Written In Sam C |
| Modules | Graham Goring Search: “Stewart Skardon” | Converted Amiga Mods |
| Scr$ Compressor | Andrew Collier | Very Efficient Screen Compressor |
| Lottery | Doug Young | Moneymoneymoneymoneymoney.... |
Magazine
CA Happy Valentine's Day Folks!
h on t j on the r ! Anyw elc e an
is f FR D, m f of mo w L aw n m
o w er. G lp.
Co n a d f iss e 6 F D , w hi
C h I di o ti s f all
I , ng f or this! M f hi
r at , s gh Ne m eh?
Af t s, (o f o h !
A ywa , e n jo ac ew f ast month
i Co w th fa v errr. I as ,
f is h f In g ers (!) ha ev a r
j h... Sa y, ma h best I s
r, su sh an n on????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
CA Tee hee hee
Only joking, everyone. It all works really. I couldn't think
of a start, and some nice person told me to "write a load of
rubbish as usual". So I did, literally. Ho ho ho.
Anyway, welcome to yet another edition of FRED. I haven't got
any contributions yet, but no fear because I'm expecting a
gigantic parcel of wondrous discs in the next couple of days.
Once again the disc company have made a mess of getting FRED
done. It's a shame, because they've always been really good,
but two months in a row is a disgrace. I work so very, very
hard for hours on end, working well beyond what is humanly
possible, for piddly pay, and then the disc company selfishly
get taken over. I don't know. You'd think that they'd wait a
few days. Well, they won't be geting FRED's business any more.
Yeah, that'll teach them. Erm, yeah.
CA Robert Dies
Stefan Drissen told me a nice little story the other day.
Apparently Andrew Collier had sent Stefan, Robert Van Der Veeke
(a SAM graphics artist) and Martijn Groen (programmer with a
strangely spelt first name) some colour screens of the latest
SAM & Speccy show. Robert was looking through the screens when
he recognised my FRED jumper that my gran knitted me. He asked
Stefan if my gran had knitted the same jumper for my sister, or
niece, or some other girl related to me! The swine. How on
Earth could he mistake me for a girl??? Stefan tells me that it
was probably the shadows that were in the picture. Yes, that'll
be what it is. Sob.
If ANYONE calls me a girl, or Mrs. Anderton, or Coline, or
anything equally unfunny at the next show, then I'll feed them
to the ravenous beast that is hidden underneath the Gloucester
hall. One young lad was fed to it at the last show for simply
pointing out that I had a bit of marmite on my lip. He won't be
saying that again. Mwa ha ha ha.
CA Ooer
Valentine's day is coming up. What a load of rubbish it all is,
though. If you don't send some b- hang on, I got into trouble
for that. If you don't send a nice girl a card, then you've got
no chance, and if you do, then you're instantly the biggest fool
in the universe, and you won't hear the end of it for a decade.
It's not fair is it?
Rumours are afoot, however, that Colin Macdonald has sent a
valentine's card to Carol Vorderman. After failing to meet
Cilla Black when he went to auditions for Blind Date, he's set
his sights on Carol, mainly because he likes intelligent women.
If this fails, he is said to be aiming for his second fave, Anne
Robinson from Points of View.
** **
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CA Thicky Anderton
Well, in lovely Nottingham, I've just had exams. Gulp. Due to
a severe lack of revision, and some impossible exam questions,
I've got a horrible feeling I could have failed a couple of
exams. Hopefully, I'll scrape through this semester without
having to do any re-takes, but that'll teach me for thinking I
know all there is to know about maths.
Still, I was comforted somewhat by a few inches of snowfall
(hurrah). When I was in Evesham over Christmas, it seemed like
everywhere in England had snow apart from crummy little Evesham.
Much to my dismay, it seemed as if I would go another winter
without snow, but, just as I was giving up hope, it snowed in
Nottingham. Much joy was shared as students lobbed snowballs
through other people's windows (I had no part in this
skulduggery, obviously) and at taxi's and other people. It
wasn't quite so much fun walking to dinner, when some people who
were hiding on the roof found great amusement chucking snowballs
onto innocent passers-by (eg. me).
CA Bored? Nah.
And now, after the hectic exam week, I've got a week and a half
off. A week and a half to do with what I like - at the expense
of all you tax-payers out there (ho ho ho). So, I've spent a
week of this doing everything and anything. I tidied my room,
almost giving one of the cleaners a heart attack (my room does
tend to get a teensy bit messy every now and again). I've spent
a bit more time exploring the Internet, but not actually finding
anything exciting (except the SAM WWW page of course) and I've
been able to mail people again.
Until now, I haven't played with my SAM much. Eight of us had a
game of Chaos, and everyone marvelled at my new disc drive,
which everyone agreed is a beautiful addition. I've also spent
a few hours on my neighbours Amiga (spit) beating everyone at
Sensible Soccer as Lincoln City. But apart from that, all I've
done is sleep and wander around Nottingham looking for pictures
of Home And Away's Shannon (what a "nice girl").
CA Our House, In the Middle Of The Street...
FRED has found itself a new home for next year, and a wonderful
place it looks like it will be too. Six people from Uni and I
have found a house in Nottingham which we're going to move into
next year. It's not actually built yet, but Mr. and Mrs.
Czzzzzzdodgeypeople-smythe told us that it will be finished and
that we shouldn't worry at all about giving them a £200 deposit.
They also pointed out that contracts are just bits of paper and
aren't worth bothering with.
Still, the good news is that I've got the loft, or as I like to
call it, the Penthouse Suite. It's the biggest room by far, so
I'll have plenty of room to throw discs around and lose FRED
master copies.
Even better is the address. We'll be living at 1, Albert
Square! What a wonderful address. Actually, now I think about
it, it does seem a bit strange. It really would be embarrassing
if they ripped us off, and we had to tell Esther Rantzen all
about it. Cripes, how silly.
CA Idea Corner
After reading a, erm, a friend's copy of Loaded (gulp), I
noticed what immense fun they had in visiting lots of their
readers in their reader's locals, and got round to thinking what
a wonderful idea that would be. Colin and I could hire a car,
spend a few quid out of the FRED bank account and visit around
500 readers in a matter of days. Colin isn't going for it
though, claiming it would cost him "a lot of money" and that the
police are apparently not too keen on people driving after
consuming vast amounts of alcohol (?).
If anyone has any other bright ideas that they think may be
possible, then get in touch and we'll try and do something.
Colin M says that the readers couldn't think of an idea if it
implanted itself in their brains, but I'm sure you can all prove
him wrong...
CA News
First of all, a date for your diaries - the date of the next SAM
and Speccy show. Once again, the show will be in Qudegeley
village hall, and will be on:
SATURDAY the 20th of APRIL
You should have about two months to find a way of getting there,
so no excuses. We are expecting a record number of SAM and
Speccy companies at this one, so a trip there will be well
worthwhile. All the SAM programmers, editors (yahoo),
musicians, etc. will be there as usual, all ready and waiting to
be bullied into writing a routine, or giving a cheap advert, or
simply answering your questions. Matt Round should be there,
either to help sell his latest release, Retros, or to celebrate
the fact that it's a year late.
I've spoken to John Ketley, the weatherman, and he assures me
that both days of the weekend will be perfect sunshine, but not
too hot to make driving unbearable. We'll see you there!
CA GOOD RESPONSE TO PLEA! EDITOR SHOCKED!
After a little plea last month for issues of Your Sinclair and
Crash and things for the SAM story book (as in "SAM story" book,
not SAM "Story-book"), surprise, surprise - it worked! Colin
has got plenty of issues of them, but would now like help from
people in finding out which issues have the most important
snippets of news in them. As he has a million things going on
at once, Colin doesn't really have time to look through them
all. So, if anyone can find out where important bits are, a
letter/phone call (evenings only) would be most appreciated.
Following on the topic of books, Steven Ekins from Jupiter
Software, is writing a book on SAM C. If anyone has any
suggestions or particular problems, then let him know. The
address to write to is:
Jupiter Software,
[redacted]
CA News
As you may know, Steve Pick, famous for his wonderful pieces of
SAM art is working on a SAM encyclopedia. In this he wants to
put a sort of FRED companion. If anyone is available to help
him put bits together and find out information, then they can
get in touch at the following address:
Steve Pick,
[redacted]
Despite a poor response to the FRED packs, the Best Of FRED disc
has had a good sales boost in just it's first two weeks. At
only £2, the Best Of FRED is an essential addition to any good
SAM disc box. What can I say, except if you don't buy it,
you're making a big mistake. Who can afford not to get it?
CA Disc Contents
Just to shock everybody, I'm going to be organised this month
and introduce each of the disc contents... IN ORDER! Here we
go...
In slot C, we continue and conclude the Alton Towers Piccies
with another six wonderful shots, all scanned and converted by
Allan Clarkson.
Slot D contains two very useful C libraries. The first allows
you to use a mouse for programs written in C, using Steve
Taylor's mouse driver. To use it, load SAM C, then quit to
basic. Load Steve's mouse driver code and then press F7 to
return to SAM C. You can then program and compile your
wonderful mouse programs. When you have your compiled code and
you want to run it you must have the mouse driver code also
loaded.
CA DisC Contents
FUNCTIONS
mpointer(n) - change the pointer (0 off, upto 6).
mcontrol(n) - change control to keyboard, joystick or mouse.
mbutton() - returns which mouse button/s are being pressed.
getmx() - returns the mouse pointer's x value.
getmy() - returns the mouse pointer's y value.
movex(x) - changes the pointer's x value.
movey(y) - changes the pointer's y value.
movexy(x,y) - changes both of the x and y values of the pointer.
All of these functions are more explained in the MOUSE.C file.
The second library is for sin and cos. These can be used in SAM
C for innacurate purposes like plotting onto the screen. The
functions use a static variable which contains the values of sin
and cos for different degrees.
To be able to multiply integers by non-integers, Luke has used
CA Disc Contents
the following method:
if a=50*.25
then a=(50*25)/100 All integers
For this reason, the sin and cos functions are of the form
int sin(int number, int degree)
where n is the number you are multiplying the sin by, and degree
is the degree of the sin.
Eg. for a=10*sin(50)
use a=sin(10,50)
On the disc are the following files:
"sin&cos.c" - sin and cos functions and how to use them
"sin dem2.c" - source code for the sin demo
"sin de.BIN" - object code for sin demo
CA Disc Contents
The two libraries are from Luke Falla, so thanks to him for
them. If anyone was unsure of getting SAM C because they are
not sure how well they can use it, then listen to this for a
quote from Luke:
"I think SAm C is starting to look very good, and already I
prefer programming C on the Sam to on the PC. It has a lot
better libraries, and the SAM is generally a lot easier to work
with."
Thanks, Luke.
Zoinks is a little game from Matt Round, knocked up in a couple
of days. If anyone remembers the little games in calculators
where you had to zap the numbers (I don't), then you'll
recognise this. If you don't, you'll soon catch on. Thanks,
Matt.
CA Disc Contents
Next up we have a little demo from Rob Pain. It's nothing
spectacular, but is nicely written and is hopefully the start of
some wonderful coding. Cheers, Rob.
Captain Cosmic comes blasting at you from the furthest depths of
the Galaxy in slot G. Written by Victor Cooper, you have to fly
Captain Cosmic through the levels of enemy mayhem. To advance a
level, all you have to do is shoot the LEVEL+ sign. However,
shooting enemies gives you more points and advanced skills. If
you don't cheat, then it's got a great difficulty level. As an
added bonus, you can also fly around the menu screen! Anyway,
advance through the levels onto the main zone, then get to the
levers and let the blue splodey man drop off the screen, and
you've won. Some rooms seem impossible to get out of without
losing a life, but by being clever, you can do it.
Due to what I think are SAM BASIC bugs (shocker!), this game
won't compress. It's far too long, but I'm putting it on because
I've spent ages failing to compress it and I won't let it win!
CA Disc Contents
'The' Interview this month is with Football League Manager and
Grubbing For Gold programmer, David Handley.
E-Tunes are from David Laundon. They're all very good,
especially the Cities Of Gold which will probably take a few
people back to their child-hood memories of watching telly after
school. I must apologise for the lack of a scrolly this month.
I had written one, and I was very pleased with it for once, but
due to a disc error and me being a spoon and not having a
back-up, it can't be used. I don't have time to re-write it,
but expect a bumper scrolly next month to make up for it.
Sorry...
Jellytext from Matt Round is a SAM Street special. The next
episode has a great cliffhanger ending, and all your views would
be gratefully received.
Ninecard is a nice little game written in SAM C. Although I
should maybe have put this in Bits, I think it's very well
CA Disc Contents
written, but simple enough to be a lot of use for people
learning SAM C to look at. Many thanks go to Paul Eyre for this
little gem. I wonder if I can talk him into writing a little C
article...
Adverts are once again from paying companies, so you won't find
any cheap, shoddy rubbish in there. Please do take a look -
these companies have paid money to grab your attention.
In bits n Bobs, we have a screen compressor from Andrew Collier.
If you remember the Gloucester piccies last month, then you'll
know that they had a different compression system. They were
done using this program. It has a much better compression than
the current one, but at the moment is slower. Depending on
whether you want space or speed, the choice is yours.
Secondly, we have a simple lottery predictor by Doug Young.
I've had a few of these but this is the only small one.
Unfortunately, it got tonights draw completely wrong. Sob.
CA Thanks Very Much
EDITOR: COLIN 'Menu Screen God' ANDERTON
BLOKE : COLIN 'Two Companies' MACDONALD
With undying gratification to :
****************
Luke Falla John Eyre * * * * * *
Matt Round Allan Clarkson *** ** *** * *
Rob Pain Doug Young * * * * * *
Victor Cooper Phil Glover * * * *** **
Andrew Collier Martin Wilson ====Publishing====
Dave Handley Paul Walker
David Laundon Michael Stocks
FRED disc magazine is available from : FRED Publishing,
[redacted]
Please keep writing and
contributing
*********************** P.T.O ->
DY Music Reviews (wow!) by Doug Young
Meatloaf - Welcome To The Neighbourhood
Running time - 58 minutes 42 seconds
Number of tracks - 12 Price 8.99/-12.99
As I am a fairly big Meatloaf fan I expected this album to be of
a high quality and to last a fair while. Well it does last
almost an hour, which is a lot for an album ( most being only
around the 40 minute mark).
The first track is , where the rubber meets the road.
This track is a very good example of a classic rock 'n' roll
song, it has all of the excellent construction of a great song
and a certain amount of flare along with it, thus making it a
really tremendous song.it lasts 4 minutes and 59 seconds. 9/10.
Next is the pretty successful single , i'd lie for you and
that's the truth, which reached number 2 in the chart and sold
well over half a million copies. It's a very well constructed
DY Music
song and sounds great, the video was tremendous too. It lasts 6
minutes and 30 seconds. 10/10
Next is , original sin, this is quite good and a typical
meatloaf track. Lasting 6 minutes and 10 seconds. 8/10
Next is, 45 seconds of ecstasy, this is some woman remembering
an evening with a man when she enjoyed herself with him ( well
this is going in to a family magazine, what do you expect me to
write ? ). It lasts 1 minute 10 seconds, so that's why it's
called 45 seconds of ecstasy. 4/10
Next up is definetly the best track off of the whole album, it
being, runnin' for the red light. This track slowly builds up to
an electric pace and then explodes, and then it continues to
progress into a state of electrifing brilliance ( anyone get the
hint that I love this track ? ).
The lyrics are cool as hell ( something pretty common amongst
DY Music
most of his songs ), the guitars are strong, the drums are, as
usual, loud as hell and the vocals are very good.The only bad
thing about this track is that it only lasts 3 minutes and 57
seconds. Of coarse 10/10.
Next is ( wait for it ), fiesta de las almas perdidas, this is
an instrumental, it is performed by all sorts of instruments nd
it is either spanish or mexican and means something about
paradise.It lasts 1 minute and 24 seconds. 3/10
Left in the dark, comes next. This is the longest track on the
album ( nothing compared to , paradise on the dashboard light,
which lasts over 15 minutes! ) and has the strongest vocal
performance. The song is fairly good but is a bit soppy,
althought it has a good ending. It lasts 7 minutes and 8 seconds
8/10
Next is, not a dry eye in the house, this is a very good song, a
bit like ,original sing, but not quite a fast or loud. The
DY Music
vocals are again pretty impressive and the piano/keyboard
sections are perfect. It lasts 5 minutes and 46 seconds 7/10
Next is , amnesty is granted, i promise you that you will love
this song, it starts off with a really brilliant guitar and drum
intro and then is poured into a pot full to the brim with
exploding lyrics , and net result ? another great song. Lasting
6 minutes and 29 seconds.9/10
Next up is a song with a quite short title , if this is the last
kiss, let's make it last all night ( 13 words ). This is a
typical classic rock song which has been blended with a
typically classic love song and then been jazzed up a bit and
this has resulted n a pretty good love/rock song.It lasts 4
minutes and 5 seconds. 9/10
What follows is another love song and it goes by the ( a bit
shorter than the last one ! ) name of , martha. I don't really
like this song very much, but then again I don't hate it very
DY Music
much either so what can I say, well it's about average. Lasts 5
minutes and 10 seconds. 5/10
Finally is ,Where angels sing, this another love type/ rock song
and is again pretty well done ( although I have to admit it does
sound a hell of a lot better on high speed dubbing, reason being
that the guitars are well too slow on this song. ) Lasts 6
minutes and 4 seconds 8/10
Rapping it up.
Well it is an album by Meatloaf that is a very typical Meatloaf
album, it has flare and excitement, it has surprise and
suspense, but most of all it has great songs, although there are
a few not to good ones, but there aren't any really bad ones.
Rating 89%
DY Meatloaf Fan...
As I have just reviewed meatloaf album I think that it is only
right for me to review another one, and that would of coarse be
his best album.
Bat out of hell 2 - Back into hell price 8.99/12.99
Tracks 11
First track is the shear brilliant ' i would do anything for
love , but i won't do that. This song topped the chart for 8
weeks and sold a lot of copies. Putting it bluntly it is
completely perfect. Lasts over 12 minutes 10/10
Next is, if life is a lemon, I want my money back, this is a
very good song and has a election of brilliant guitar
performances, infact most of the song is just guitar
combinations,strange that. It lasts over 7 minutes. 9/10
Next is another song that was released a single, rock and roll
dreams come through. This is again totally brilliant, it
DY Music
combines the write lyrics and brilliant harmonies. Lasts over 6
and a half minutes. 10/10
Next is, it just won't quit, this is a very loud song, i.e aa
lot of drums being played. The lyrics are once again very well
written and so is the music. Lasts about 6 minutes 9/10
The 5th track is, out of the frying pan and into the fire. For
me this is the best track on the whole album. It is loud and
brilliant from the very beginning to the very end, lyrics and
music are both perfectly combined. This lasts about 6 minutes
10/10
Next is, objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than
they are. This song was another single and surprise is
brilliant, but it also had a great video, something that is
pretty common amongst videos from Meatloaf.It lasts over 12
minutes 10/10
DY Music
Next up is wasted youth, this isn't really a song on it'7s own
it is really the start of the following song, but it is very
well created, from the shivering lyrics to the shuddering sounds
that just appear to come crashing down around you. It last about
2 and a half minutes 10/10
Next is everything louder than everything else, as the title
suggests this song relies very much on strong musical
performences, although there are great lyrics again. It lasts
just about 9 minutes 10/10
Next is good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere, this
has a rather wierd bagpipe bit at the beginning, but for some
reason it works well with the whole song.This song has the best
lyrics and is great.It lasts about 9 minutes.10/10
The 10th track is back into hell, this is an instrumental which
has pieces of all of the previous songs in it along with new
pieces, and it is very well created, most enjoyable. It lasts a
DY Music
short time, that being 2 and a half minutes 10/10
The last track is good boys and golden girls, this is the only
track off of the whole album that isn't perfect, it is the
slowest song off of the album and also the quietest. It lasts
about 5 minutes 8/10
Overall
Well if you couldn't guess what rating that i'm going to give
this album I would be quite surprised. It is great and a definet
progression from Bat out of hell ( which was released in 1978 )
all of the songs will put you in seventh heaven. If you like
Meatloaf, you will love this album; if you don't really think
much about him,well you will still love it.
Rating 98%
----------------------------------------------------------------
DY CINEMA REVIEWS
GOLDENEYE, CERTIFICATE 21, RUNNING TIME 130 MINS
THIS IS THE 17TH JAMES BOND MOVIE AND IS CLEARLY ONE OF THE
BEST YET.
IT HAS ALL OF THE ORIGINAL PARTS THAT MADE UP THE GOOD PARTS OFF
ALL OF THE PREVIOUS BOND FILMS, ALTHOUGH THEY HAVE BEEN JAZZED
UP FOR THE 90S.
IT HAS BEEN 6 YEARS SINCE THE LAST BOND FILM , THAT BEING ,
LICENCE TO KILL, WHICH STARRED TIMITHY DALTON AS BOND IN HIS
SECOND FILM.DALTON QUIT THE ROLE OF BOND AFTER THIS FILM, SO A
REPLACEMENT WAS REQUIRED AND THAT ROLE WAS FILLED BY PIERCE
BROSNAN.
PIERCE IS BRILLIANT AS BOND, HE BEATS ALL OF THE OTHER PREVIOUS
ACTORS WHO HAVE PLAYED BOND, EXCEPT SEAN CONNERY HO IS ABOUT THE
SAME AS. HE MAY END UP BETTER THAN SEAN AFTER A FEW MORE FILMS.
AS USUAL THE BOND FILMS HAVE BOND GIRLS, ONE BEING GOOD AND THE
OTHER BEING BAD.
THE BAD IS PLAYED BY FAMKE JANSSEN , WHO IS THE CHARACTER ,
XANIA ONATOPP. SHE HAS A VERY UNIQUE WAY OF KILLING MEN AND THAT
IS BY SQUEEZING THEM TO DEATH WITH HER LEGS, AN INTERESTING AND
PLEASURABLE WAY TO DIE. FANKE IS EXCELLENT AS THE EVIL BADDIE.
THE GOOD GIRL AND ONE OF BONDS LOVERS IS IZABELLA SCORUPCO, WHO
HAS BRAINS AS WELL AS A BODY. UNLIKE PREVIOUS BOND GIRLS, WHO
ONLY SEEMED TO GET IN THE WAY, IZABELLA HAS TO HELP BOND TO
COMPLETE HIS MISSION.
AS USUAL THERE IS A REAL EVIL BAD GUY, AND THAT PERSON IS PLAYED
BY SEAN BEAN, WHO PLAYS JAMES'S OLD PARTNER, 006.
006 IS SICK OF 007 ALWAYS BEING THE ONE THAT GETS ALL OF THE
GLORY, SO HE TURNS AGAINST BOND AND TRYS IN MANY WAYS TO KILL
HIM. BEAN'S PERFORMANCE IS GREAT.
THE FILM HAS THE USUAL INTRODUCTION , THAT BEING WHEN THE THEME
PLAYS AND THERE ARE A LOAD OF NAKED WOMEN DANCING IN THE
BACKGROUND.
THE MUSIC IS BY TINA TURNER AND IS ONE OF THE BEST BOND THEMES,
THE BEST BEING LIVE AND LET DIE ( THE GUNS N ROSES VERSION IS
BETTER THOUGH ).
OVERALL
THE FILM HAS EXCELLENT STUNTS, SOME OF WHICH REALLY ARE
BREATHTAKING, THE WOMEN ARE GOOD AS WITH ALL OF THE ACTING
PERFORMENCES AND THE PLOT IS GREAT.
THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST BOND FILMS EVER MADE AND I REALLY
THINK YOU SHOULD GO AND SEE IT.
RATING 95%
----------------------------------------------------------------
ACE VENTURA:WHEN NATURE CALLS 93 MINUTES
THIS IS THE SECOND ACE VENTURA FILMS AND STARS THE BRILLIANT JIM
CARREY.
JIM CARREY ONLY GOT PAID 250,000 DOLLARS FOR ACE VENTURA: PET
DETECTIVE, BUT FOR THIS ONE HE GOT PAID 20 MILLION DOLLARS, JUST
A WEE BIT MORE EH!
THE FILM OPENS WITH A CLASSIC MICKY TAKING VERSION OF
CLIFFHANGER, JIM IS TRYING TO SAVE THE LAST SURVIVOR OF A PLANE
CRASH, WHICH JUST HAPPENS TO BE A RACCOON.THIS REALLY PUTS YOU
INTO THE MOOD OF THE FILM.
THE WHOLE FILM IS A BARREL OF LAUGHS, AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT
THE BARREL WOULD HAVE TO BE PRETTY BIG TOO.
ALTHOUGH I SAY IT IS FUNNY IT ISN'T AS GOOD AS THE FIRST ACE
FILM AND IT IS NO WHERE NEAR THE BRILLIANT DUMB AND DUMBER, BUT
WHAT IS ?
OVERALL
IF YOU LIKE CARREY, YOU LOVE THIS, BUT DON'T EXPECT IT TO BE AS
GOOD AS DUMB AND DUMBER OR THE FIRST ACE FILM.
IF YOU DON'T REALLY LIKE CARREY, WELL SORRY, YOU'RE A BIT SAD
BUT YOU WILL PROBABLY STILL ENJOY THIS. RATING 92%
Letters & Reviews
Interview: David Handley
'The' Interview
COLIN: He's a SAM programmer, he's written two commercial games,
he's at university, he HASN'T TAKEN HIS SAM (so deserves
a good kicking) but I'm sure he sits there and plans
future releases. He's probably most famous for Football
League Manager. No, it's not Matt Round. It's actually
someone called David Handley. Say hello, Dave....
DAVE: Err, Hi, I couldn't have put that better myself!
Actually, I probably could but you wouldn't let me would
you?
COLIN: Pardon? Speak English.
DAVE: Sorry! I've just about woken up now. It's hard work doing
all the, erm, SAM related stuff I do in my spare time. In
fact just this minute I am composing mental notes about
my next SAM release...
COLIN: Anyway, enough of that. Let's start the questions. You
started out on the Spectrum, and your first bit of
programming was when you managed to crack Target Renegade
and give yourself infinite lives. Is that correct?
DAVE: If only... My first bit of programming must've been on
the speccy around 10 years ago. I worked out how to make
my own UDG's and had two little stick men shooting each
other in a street full of identical houses. I also tried
to write a cover version of a song in the charts at the
time (called 'Solid as a Rock', or something) using the
BEEP command. I thought it sounded really good when I was
9 but when listening to it more recently I discovered
that it sounds more like a 2 Unlimited tune.
COLIN: Bl**dy hell! I wrote exactly the same program! Two
little stick men shooting at each other below two very
similar (the same infact) brick houses. Blimey! Except
mine had trees in another screen. Wow, that's wierd.
Did your Spectrum programming amount to anything serious?
DAVE: I started writing a Simpson's adventur-ey-type-game in
which you had to travel to different buildings in the
town to find items which would help you finish your
homework. I spent ages on the animation but couldn't be
bothered finishing the game so I scrapped it. After that
I noticed the amount of football management games
released by companies such as D&H and thought I'd have a
go at writing my own, until I realised just how slow the
speccy was...
COLIN: How did you get into the SAM?
DAVE: Like most people, I read about the SAM in Crash and Your
Sinclair. I wanted one for months but wasn't sure whether
to risk spending 200 quid on a new machine. Anyway, MGT
disappeared and the idea of buying a SAM was even more
daunting, so I did! I even sold my beloved Nintendo to
raise half of the cash.
COLIN: Hurrah! What a sound and sensible person you truly are!
I hear there's a witty story about when you bought your
SAM. Could you tell us all about it?
DAVE: I wish there was a witty story. It was boring, I had to
travel all the way to Bolton because it was the nearest
place I could find on the SAM advert in Crash. I asked
the bloke in the shop if I could have a SAM Coupe and he
stared blankly for a few seconds before replying, 'A
what?'. Minutes later, after pointing out the SAM box
sitting on the top shelf, I was the proud owner of a 512K
SAM with disk drive. Ooooh!
COLIN: What was the first piece of software you used on the SAM?
DAVE: Hmmm, if you don't include Flash because everyone had it
then it must've been Prince of Persia. I travelled all
the way back to Bolton again two weeks later and bought
it. It wasn't long after that I discovered how much
simpler it was to buy from a mail order company instead.
COLIN: How did you get round to buying FRED?
DAVE: I have to admit, I didn't buy FRED until issue 35. I read
about it in Crash and thought, 'Hmm, I'll buy an issue
one day', and then thought the same thing the following
month. Eventually Crash died and the other two were
facing extinction so I sent off for a single issue. I was
well impressed!
COLIN: What did you think of FRED in it's early days?
DAVE: Can you class issue 35 as early? I thought the first few
issues I read were excellent. There were a lot of really
good contributions, especially some of the games. Then
Brian left and things went downhill from there because of
the new editor. In fact, FRED will never be the same
again!
COLIN: Did FRED have any influence on your programming on the
SAM?
DAVE: Yeah, I had to scrap most of my ideas after subscribing
to FRED and discovering that they'd all been used before!
After reading a few issues though, I had to sit down and
write something worth sending in.
COLIN: Your first contribution to FRED was Xmas Blokit. Where
did you get the idea for that?
DAVE: There was a game on the cover of YS called Non Compos
Mentis II. I thought it was pretty cool so I 'borrowed'
the idea and wrote Blokit. I sent it in to FRED but it
wasn't used so I added a bit of holly here, a Christmas
tree there and used the Xmas theme as a desperate attempt
to get on the Christmas issue.
COLIN: LCP? was a revolution in Dave Handley software. Where did
the idea from that come from?
DAVE: Would you believe me if I said I said the idea came from
Little Computer People? LCP? was intended to be similar
to Little Computer People but, yet again, I couldn't be
bothered finishing it and turned it into a little 'demo'.
I wouldn't mind completing it at some point though, if I
still had my SAM with me, of course.
COLIN: Do you think that putting a product as shareware is a
waste of the programmer's time? I think Colin Piggot only
got one pound for his Mod to E-Tracker convertor many
years ago.
DAVE: It all depends on what the programmer wants to get out of
the software. Commercial software on the SAM makes little
money as it is so putting a product out as shareware
isn't likely to make any money for the programmer.
However, if they simply want people to use their software
so that they can build up a good reputation then
shareware is ideal. I imagine that there is little money
to be made even on a very popular machine like the PC
through shareware, due mainly to piracy, so if the
software is good enough why not sell it commercially?
COLIN: What is the story behind Football League Manager? Where
did the idea come from?
DAVE: It started life as that poor attempt at a management game
I was writing on the Spectrum. It looked a lot like the
Football Director games in it's early days, which was
pointless seeing as though I thought Football Director II
was the best management game for years, so I played
Premier Manager on the Amiga to give me a few more ideas.
That's where the icon driven version came from, as well
as the advertising and a few other things. Do you think
I'd get away with selling the text version as 'Classic
FLM' or something?
COLIN: There's bound to be some nutter who'd buy it!
Were you aware that there was another Football Manager
game being written at the time?
DAVE: Not until I'd almost finished FLM! I was hoping the two
would be released at the same time to provide a bit of
rivalry, but then came to my senses when I realised that
another management game wouldn't do the sales of FLM much
good!
COLIN: Were you surprised at the popularity of FLM (2nd in the
Best Game category of the recent SAM awards)?
DAVE: Yes, very surprised! I was pleased with the finished game
but I honestly didn't think that a football management
game could be that popular. I'm certainly not going to
question the accuracy of the awards though!
COLIN: Yeah, you probably rigged them by voting for your own
game a hundred times.
You've been doing a lot of work with Matt Round recently.
How did that come about?
DAVE: I think I first spoke to Matt when he, being the talented
SAM programmer that he is, sent me a few suggestions for
improving FLM. A few months later I put a request for
game ideas in the Xmas Blokit scroller to which Matt
replied asking whether I'd be interested in writing a
Going For Gold spoof. He came up with the game design and
it carried on from there. It worried me at the last
Gloucester show though when Matt didn't turn up and
people were cornering ME and asking when he was going to
finish Retros!
COLIN: Is it true that you get lots of fan mail (apart from what
I send)?
DAVE: Ahh yes. I get all sorts of mail from people asking for
my signature, ranging from Blackpool Council to British
Telecom. Out of interest, are those incomprehensible
E-Mail's I receive as a result of you having too much to
drink and collapsing at the keyboard? Surely not!
COLIN: Ah. Erm, shhhh. Don't know what you're talking about...
Moving swiftly along, is it also true that when you're
back at home, you're unable to work on SAM stuff because
you're chained to a young girl? That you're under the
thumb? Fight back, Dave! Stick up for yourself.
DAVE: Ummm, Nope! Not at all. The truth was twisted into a
vicious rumour. The fact is, I am unable to work on a
young girl because I'm chained to my SAM. Honest.
COLIN: And then Grubbing For Gold came along. Did Grubbing For
Gold go as well as you had hoped?
DAVE: I really didn't know what to expect. Quiz games aren't
exactly the most popular games genre but with Matt Round,
Steve Pick and Tom Kincaid's excellent contributions I
thought it might make it's mark as THE Sam quiz game. A
number of people who saw the game at the show were
impressed which kind of makes it all worthwhile, I
suppose.
COLIN: Were you happy with the interview in FRED? Zodiac gave
GfG 92%. I suppose you prefer that score.
DAVE: Do you mean the review in FRED?
COLIN: Shut up. Some people are so picky. If you'd have just
kept quiet, I could have happily changed it before FRED
went out. Picky sod. Just get on with the interview.
DAVE: I haven't actually read any reviews but I was informed by
a reliable source that the FRED rating is much lower than
the Zodiac one so I think Zodiac win in the 'rating I
will quote to relatives to impress them' category. I
suppose it depends on the reviewer's tastes. It wouldn't
be the first SAM game to have been given VERY varied
ratings by different magazines!
COLIN: Well, that's everything interesting you've done up to
date. But what do you have to say about speculations that
you haven't taken your SAM to university? How can you
live with yourself?
DAVE: Well (gulp!), there's a perfectly good explanation...
probably. It's nothing to do with the fact that I have no
room on my desk due to a PC, not at all. And it's
certainly not because I don't have a telly to plug it
into because I'm a tight-fisted Northerner who refuses to
buy a TV license. Nosireebob! It's because (pause for
thought) IT'S BROKEN! YES THAT'S IT, IT'S BROKEN BEYOND
REPAIR and the only way I'll be able to program for the
SAM again is if someone writes a SAM emulator for the PC
(That should convince him).
COLIN: Oh, I'm so sorry, Dave. I though it was because you're a
tight- well, for another reason. I'm so so sorry.
What sort of projects do you have in mind for the future?
DAVE: If I ever find the time then I'm hoping to start writing
games for, dare I say it, the PC. I've had some good
ideas for fairly simple games but there is one in
particular which I WILL write at some point in the
future. I'm keeping it a secret though because I love the
idea and I'd probably die tragically if someone was to
steal it. You'll just have to wait and see.
ALL: Hiss, boo. Don't write for the PC!
COLIN: Fancy doing a FRED menu?
DAVE: I was going to do a mouse driven menu last year with
icons next to each option. It would've been really easy
to write the menu but I don't think anyone would be
prepared to put the graphics together at the last minute.
Sorry.
COLIN: And a game?
DAVE: As a great world leader once said...
'Give me a SAM emulator and I shall write thee a game!'
or something slightly similar. I'm sure there are a few
PC owners out there who'd agree...
COLIN: Well, may your work and play and university go really
well. And I'll speak to you sometime in the future.
Tommorrow probably.
Bye Dave. Many thanks.
DAVE: Yeah, Bye Col! Before I go, I'd just like to say thanks
to ...(BANG! Thud)
FANS: (Sounds of thousands of screaming fans)
Next month: Colin Macdonald does an IMPORTANT interview.....